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Charleigh
I bunch up the bottom of my nightgown so it doesn’t drag, and walk through the compound’s wet grass, watered by the evening dew.
When I was a kid, I hated grass sticking to my feet and between my toes, but something about it tonight is comforting. Cool. Refreshing. It makes me feel like I can breathe, like I’ve left a room full of smokers where I thought I might choke to death.
An apt description of my life, where every breath seems a struggle.
I wander through the pitch-dark property, which I know well enough by now to avoid major obstacles like trees and such. I figure security is watching me, not that it makes me feel much better. The constant alert of always looking over my shoulder has my stomach in knots. I can’t eat, and unless I take one of the sleeping pills prescribed by the Alekseev’s doctor, I can’t sleep, either.
Hell, I can’t even focus long enough to read, nor sit long enough to watch a movie on TV. The only thing I can do is walk the property. Without this, I’d lose my mind.
I have to admit, there is something magical about walking outside after dark. The birds are quieter, the air smells clean, and the breeze tickles my skin. I need to hold on to this feeling, figure out a way to carry it with me to maybe get rid of some of the rotten that’s eating me from the inside out.
Which was not made better by my meeting with thePakhan. Did I really think he’d listen to me, a woman? How could I be so naïve?
Actually, I’ve been naïve about a lot of things, not least of which was running over to the arcade with Frank that day, thinking I could whisk my sister away, after which life would be grand.
I’ve made mistake after mistake, like encouraging Stacey to take Niko’s car. It should have been me who blew up in it that day. It wassupposedto be me.
But if I died instead of Stacey, what would have happened to Evie? Would she have gone back to my father? Would the guys have taken care of her?
Maybe, maybe not.
Which is why I’m grateful I’m here. My days may be full of nightmares that rival those that I have at night, but at least I’m here for her. I want to help her have the life I haven’t.
I glance up at the big house and through the window of Evie’s room, see light flickering off the walls. I said goodnight to her an hour ago. While she’s not attending school per se, I am trying to keep her on the same schedule she had before so that when she goes back, it will be a seamless transition.
But the light in her room tells me she’s playing video games on her computer, something she must have picked up during her brief time with the awful Arseny.
Oh, that I could wring that fucker’s neck. I hate him more than Dimitri, if that’s possible. Sure, he set me up, which is bad enough, but that he used my sister to do it is a step too far. He will pay, just like his uncle. I don’t know when or how, just that theywillpay. The opportunity will present itself. I know it will.
And it won’t revolve around anyone giving me a bag of cash to send me on my way. All the money in the world won’t keep me safe from Dimitri. Only his death will.
And that stupid ‘second’ of thePakhan’s. First, who would ever want to be referred to as a ‘second,’ and next, how did a big lout get a job like that, anyway? Actually, I know the answer, at least I can guess at it. He’s related to somebody thePakhanknows. It’s got to be something simple like that.
That’s how most everything in this world works. Who you know. Who you’re related to. Who your father did deals with.
Hell, family obligations are the only reason the Alekseevs have kept that awful Dominika around.
“Charleigh. Charleigh,” a soft voice whispers, startling me, but only for a moment.
It’s Niko, keeping his voice low as if disturbing the peacefulness of the night would scare it away.
The little light there is in the night sky reflects his blond hair, making it easy to seek him out in the dark. As he walks toward me, his feet squeak in the wet grass, and I realize he must be barefoot like me.
It’s funny to think someone from a big organized crime family actually walks barefoot on wet grass. It just seems so incongruous for someone who buys and sells illegal firearms and other weapons, and carries a gun every time he leaves the house.
So bizarre. But what about my life isn’t bizarre these days?
I like to imagine what each of the guys would have become had they been from ‘normal’ families, where they could choose their own professions.
Vadik would have been the CEO of some huge, successful corporation. He’d tell people what to do all day long and when they didn’t, he’d fire them without hesitation. People would bow and scrape before him in appreciation of his vast knowledge and expertise. He’d travel the world in a private jet, meeting with all manner of business and world leaders, and they’d listen to everything he had to say.
Kir is easy. His passion is so clearly cooking that he’d have become a chef. Maybe have his own Michelin-starred restaurant, be on all the cooking magazine covers, and even have a show like some top chefs do. When someone in the kitchen messed up, he’d scream at them just like the chefs on TV do, but it would be for the best, to make his assistants better at their work. They’d look back on their days of working with him and admit that while it was difficult, they’d never learned so much in such a short period of time.
Niko is a little harder. He’s a ladies’ man, no doubt, but part of what makes him one is also what gives him his irresistible appeal. What woman doesn’t love a strong, take-charge man who can also talk about feelings and wipe away tears? Maybe Niko would have been a doctor. A kindly but sexy doctor. Or a politician. A stately senator, known for bringing together people with disparate interests and concocting a solution that makes everyone walk away happy. He’d be mentioned in history books for years to come, there would be statues of him in great parks, and his name would be spoken with hushed awe and respect.
Instead, life dealt these guys a hand that’s just about as limiting as what I was given. Sure, they have a lot more money, but are they really free? Do they have the freedom I so desperately wanted when I was studying for my bookkeeping certificate?
