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My shoulders shake as I try my hardest to subdue a sob.
“All right, then. She’ll take a house salad. And a hot tea. Please hurry with the hot tea,” she says quietly.
“Yes, ma’am,” the waiter says in a kind and discreet voice.
“Oh, Aunt Dede,” I whisper, taking the hanky she passes me. “I’ve made so many mistakes. So many. No wonder my ex dumped me like he did.”
“My girl,” she says, taking my hand off my face so I have to look at her. “We all have our secrets, and when they are discovered, we think the end of the world is nigh. But I can tell you, after having stood in your same shoes many times over the years, that you will come out the other side of this. You are a Sterling. You are strong. And besides, I can’t let you go back to that horrid little town you grew up in, so you have to pull your shit together.”
My tears stop long enough to let me emit a very unattractive and unladylike snort. I’ve never, in all my life, heard Aunt Dede mutter a swear word.
She is undeterred. “I have so much to say to you, Ava, that it would take hours to counter every grievance you have at this moment. So I won’t even try. I just want you to know that one of the things I admire most about you is that you always try to do what’s right. You don’t have an ounce of malevolence in you. Unlike your brother, Andy. Who, by the way, I told to hit the road after hearing how he talked about you.”
Oh my god. I never knew Aunt Dede had an ounce of respect for me, never mind thought so well of me.
Silver lining of the day. Week, even.
Of course, her words lead to another deluge of tears, causing the waiter to drop off my salad at the edge of the table and run for cover.
“Th… thank you, Aunt Dede. I… thank you so much,” I say, reaching for her hand.
Her fingers are long and thin and cool in mine, but the way she clasps mine back is all the comfort I could hope for. She has always been there for me, even when it hasn’t been very obvious.
“Honey,” she continues, “you would be aghast at all the inexplicable mistakes I’ve made in my life. But do you think I let them get me down? I mean, I might feel bad initially, but I pull my shoulders back, hold my head high, and keep moving forward. That’s what’s great about this city. You can always reinvent yourself.”
I stare at her. Just stare. She, the most composed and together human I’ve ever known, has fucked up?
And I never had any idea, because she came out unscathed, or at least as unscathed as one can be in this world.
“Aunt Dede, how come you never married?” I blurt.
She tilts her head and turns over her fork on the table a couple times. “I had a long-term affair with a married man. That was my first mistake.”
A blow to the head with a hammer would have hit me more lightly.
“Would you like to hear about the other things I’ve made a mess of? How much time do you have?” she asks, waving the waiter over to order another martini.
* * *
48
ETHAN
“Look.I know you don’t really want to talk to me. But I need your help.”
While Ava takes her time responding to me, I face the window in my office so no one can see me and squeeze my eyes shut.
I am fucked.Sofucked.
I hear her breathing on the other end of the line, so I know she’s still there. Finally, she speaks.
“Ethan, it’s not that I don’t want to talk. It’s just that… I think some distance is best for the time being. But what happened? What do you mean, you need my help?”
I knew I could count on her.
“Some woman in your office is saying I harassed her in the elevator.”
The very words make me want to hurl my lunch. I move my trashcan closer in case I do.
