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Once again, I’m caught entirely off guard. But I can’t find any reason to deny him. A walk in the garden is intimate, but not inappropriate. And I find myself wanting to knowwhy. Why does he want to continue to spend more time with me, when he’s barely touched me? Why is he stretching out his night, filling his hours with nothing more than my company, when he could be enjoying some other woman in bed right now?
We are a business arrangement, nothing more. But he’s treating this like the beginning of a relationship.
I want to know why.
“Alright,” I say finally. “I don’t see a reason why not. And it’s a nice night.”
Theo smiles, opening the door, and once again, it seems more genuine than it should.
Itisa nice night, surprisingly so, for early spring. I slip on the fur wrap I’d taken with me, looping it around my arms, and lead Theo around the house to the iron gate that leads into the garden. We can’t entirely avoid my security—they’re everywhere around the house, but I don’t see Adrik, which is a relief. I can only imagine the confrontation we’d have if he saw me here with Theo, going on what can only be construed as a romantic and entirely unnecessary walk in the garden.
“I don’t really know what the landscapers do to keep this going,” I confess as we start to walk down the stone path, towards the center where the fountain is. “It doesn’t look as good right now—it’s just starting to bloom. If we get another cold snap, I imagine it will take longer for it to look the way it does in late spring and summer. But it’s stunning then.”
“We’ll have to come back so you can show me.” Theo laughs lightly. “I have a garden on my estate as well—I think it’s a requirement of owning a mansion, actually. But I don’t know what to do with it either. I pay gardeners, and they seem to do a good enough job.”
“Exactly.” I laugh, unbidden, and it startles me. I realize, with a flush of uncertainty, that Iliketalking to him. There hasn’t been a moment tonight when I’ve really wanted the conversation to end. He’s easy to talk to, with a sense of humor I hadn’t expected, and nothing about him seems particularly objectionable or cruel. He’s been more of a gentleman than anyone I’ve known in a long time.
It doesn’t fit the man that I’ve been led to believe he is, either by my own family, or through public opinion.
We walk all the way through the garden, to the large fountain in the center of it. Theo turns to me, a thoughtful look on his face as he reaches into his jacket pocket and hands me what I realize is a small black velvet box.
I don’t expect to open it up and find a ring. He didn’t go down on one knee, or do anything else that would indicate he planned to give me one—I never expected any of that, anyway. Families like ours don’t do engagements that way. We sign contracts, offer up blood, but there’s no asking, no proposals, no romantic offerings of jewelry. That’s for other people to enjoy.
“This is for me?” I look at him confusedly.
Theo nods. “If you’ll accept it. Open it, Marika. Please.”
Thepleasestartles me. He doesn’t have to ask me to do anything—he could command anything he wanted. I could fight his requests, buck against them, but in the end, I’m almost certainly going to have to acquiesce, if he wants something badly enough.
And this costs me nothing to agree. So I open the box—and I suck in a startled breath.
Thereisa ring in it, glittering faintly in the moonlight and the light from the lamps along the garden path. It’s a round emerald on a filigreed gold band, with a smaller round diamond on either side. What startles me the most is that it’s not large. It’s beautiful—but it’s a small ring, something that someone would buy if they didn’t have much money, but loved the person they were proposing to very much.
It doesn’t fit Theo and me at all.
I think he sees the confusion on my face when I look up at him. “I don’t understand,” I say softly, and there’s a myriad of questions in those words.
“It’s a family heirloom.” There’s something in his face that I can’t quite read as he gestures to it. “I know these days, there’s no asking involved. But that ring—”
He reaches for my left hand, taking the box out of my other. “When my great-grandmother was given this ring,” Theo says quietly, “my family—the McNeils—we were no one. The ring was given to her out of love, not duty. I know there’s no love between us, Marika. But I would like you to wear it, as a symbol of the happiness I hope we might be able to find within the confines of our duty.”
I stare at him, absolutely speechless for a moment. I truly don’t know what to say. What he’s saying isn’t anything I ever expected to hear. It’s not anything that makes sense to me. And it all sounds so sincere, so…sweet, even, that I don’t know how I can say no.
But something in me feels strongly that I need to. That letting him put that ring on my finger is the first step towards getting trapped in my own game. Mine, and Nikolai’s.
“I can’t.” I pull my hand away from him. “Theo, that’s not what this is. You know it’s not—you said as much. It would be an insult to your great-grandmother’s memory to wear her ring.”
“I don’t agree.” He doesn’t take my hand again, but he’s still holding the ring. “My family came from nothing, Marika. They worked hard to make the empire that the McNeils are today. I’m marrying you out of duty, it’s true—because I need heirs to make certain that empire remains and continues to grow. This ring isn’t a symbol of love between us—but it is one of partnership. I want our marriage to be a good one, Marika. And I—” He takes a deep breath, reaching for my hand once more. “I intend to keep my vows. To be faithful to you and be a good husband. Giving you this ring, to me, is a sign of that commitment—something that the contract we signed makes no mention of.”
“We’ll have to say it in our vows. Isn’t that enough?” I feel a twist in my stomach, looking at the ring. It means something to him; that much is clear. I don’t believe he’s lying about this. And if I take it, it makes my betrayal of him so much worse.
Faithful. Once again, I feel those creeping doubts. He’s said, over and over again, what marriage means to him—outside of what’s required by the world we live in. Does he only care about his own fidelity, within his own marriage? Would cuckolding another man mean nothing to him, as long as he was single?
I find myself angry at Nikolai all over again, for putting me in this situation at all.
“Many men take those vows, with no intention of keeping them.” Theo holds out the ring. “I won’t force you to wear it, Marika. But I hoped you would. I’ve never offered it to any other woman.”
Something about the way he says it tugs at my heartstrings—heartstrings that are supposed to be off-limits to him, no matter what. I’m not supposed to feel anything for him, not desire, or tenderness, or sympathy, or caring. I don’t know what it is that I feel for him at that moment, exactly. But it’s enough to make me hold out my left hand and let him slip the gold ring onto it.
