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“Go to hell!” I scream into the phone before I cut the call.
My heart won’t stop racing. I place my head into my hands and scream all my frustration out. And then there’s a calming silence, the birds happy chattering stops and my phone rings again.
* * *
Hudson
There are sharp shards of glass everywhere. I can hardly breathe as a steady dark stream of blood trickles from my knuckles.
I fucked up again. I fucked up again. I fucked up again.
What am I going to do? Parker can’t go. She can’t leave me. I’m not supposed to be the one left behind. I fucking call the shots in the relationship. How can she fucking betray me like this? How can she leave me?
She hates my fucking guts.
The door opens and I see Matt walk into the room from my peripheral vision.
“You helped her,” I mutter.
“What?” Matt asks, his shoes crunching over the glass. “Buddy you need help. I’m going to call dad-”
“I don’t fucking want your help or his!” I hiss.
He better get away from me before I do something horrible. I won’t regret it, but he will. He will regret ever hurting me like this.
Matt crouches down in front of me like I’m a fucking child with that idiotic patronising look plastered across his face.Jesus, I fucking hate him.
“I only want to help you. I know you’re angry. But hear me out, you need to see a psychologist. I know a few people in Manhattan and it’ll be confidential,” Matt says.
I throw my head back and laugh. “Matt, I’ve done some really bad things these past few years and you most of all should know that I can easily snap. So if you’re not here to fucking tell me where you took her, then get the fuck out of my face! You’re not my brother, you’re a selfish cunt! Or better yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to help her, because you wanted to screw her.”
I watch as he flinches and I know I’m hurting him. But it makes me feel so fucking good. I don’t care about what he feels. I don’t give a shit.
“You don’t mean that,” is all Matt says.
“If that’s what helps you sleep at night. I don’t want your help now. You let me take a beating when we were kids. You were supposed to protect me and you failed, because you’re just a coward,” I snap. “You’re no better than mom. She knew and she didn’t do shit. Now when I’m a fucking adult you want to help me? I’m perfectly fine the way I am.”
I stand up and brush the blood away from my knuckles. “Get out.”
Matt takes a deep breath and leaves my room and when he shuts the door behind him, I grab my phone and keys.
I’m not going to let her go. Maybe that’s what she wants, but I have other plans. She can’t leave me. I’ll never let her go.
