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“I need… I need you to decide for a while. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and I can’t think straight. You seem to have a clue. You lead. I trust you.”
He straightened a little, his eyes searching mine. “You trust me?”
I made a face. “Of course I do. You’re one of my best friends.”
He smiled, and I ignored the fact that my stomach flipped when he did. I couldn’t look deeper into why without panicking again, and I need to focus on the here and now.
“Okay. I’ll lead. My place, after work. We’ll play some games and relax. No pressure.”
My eyebrows flew up. From the heated tone in his voice earlier, I thought we’d be going straight to business once we were alone. The prospect was both intriguing and panic inducing. But from the way he was talking now, he was willing to take his time. I wasn’t sure whether or not that made it better. I didn’t like not having a set plan, but the lack of expectations made me breathe a little easier.
“I appreciate it. I’ll, uh, see you after work then.”
He nodded, taking a step back. “You can drive your own car, in case you want to bail or something. But… no shutting me out. I don’t want to do this if you’re going to go back to ignoring me.”
The hurt in his tone made me wince. “Sorry. It won’t happen again. I’ve got another meeting with Grayson at the end of the day. I’ll head over after. Yeah?”
When I left his office, all the breath rushed out of me at once. I didn’t see things going that way. I still had shit to work through, but I felt better than I had in days. And a part of me looked forward to heading to Bennett’s after work. No pressure. Just video games and normalcy, with the small possibility of sex. I could handle that. I rubbed my fingers along my neck, where it still tingled from Bennett’s stubble. I could probably handle it. Or maybe I’d just go with my gut and jump him instead.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
BENNETT
I left work early after checking in on Julie. We’d done interviews together for her new assistant, but she was nervous about making a final decision. I liked that she valued my opinion, so I sat with her and went over the options again before urging her to go with her gut. It was what made me pick her, and there was no one better for the job. But she had more responsibilities now, she needed help, and since she was so easy to get along with, it wasn’t as difficult to find someone who’d work well with her.
Once she felt confident with her choice, I walked her to HR before heading out. Luka was coming over to hang out, and he didn’t need to see what a shithole my place had become in the last few weeks. With the nightmares getting so bad that I kept waking up in a cold sweat, there was laundry everywhere and a lot of takeout boxes that I kept telling myself to deal with but never got around to.
With Luka ignoring me the way he did, I started having a lot of flashbacks and nightmares. My old shrink said it was because of stress or whatever. I didn’t even trust myself to stay the night at Julie’s. I didn’t want to scare the hell out of her, waking her up in the middle of the night with my screaming. I made an excuse on my nights, saying stuff like I had an early appointment or something. She always looked disappointed, which made me hate myself even more, which only made things worse. I was considering going to see my old doc to get some help when Luka showed up. I hated how much I needed my friends to function normally, but seeing him smirk at me and call me an asshole made me feel better.
I was waiting for an elevator when a familiar voice spoke behind me.
“You’ve got the perfect ass.”
A woman giggled. “Alan! Keep up! We’re almost there.”
I fought off a scowl. I still hated that I lived in the same building as that asshole.
The woman stopped beside me, giggling as Alan wrapped himself around her. He didn’t look my way, too busy trying to grab the woman’s ass and nipping at her neck. She snickered, pushing his hands away.
“Stop! We’re in public!”
He scowled, straightening. “So? Stop being such a cock tease and–” His gaze finally flicked to me and he froze. “Shit. Sorry, I– Mr Reid? I didn’t know you lived in this building.”
My gaze shifted to the stairs by the elevator. How rude would it be if I just walked away right now? I needed to find a new place. Maybe Luka could help me. He found his place without breaking the bank, and it was nicer than mine.
“Who is that?” the woman whispered.
Alan made an irritated noise, speaking low like I couldn’t hear him standing right next to me. “He’s the chief of security at my work. Pretty sure he’s got a thing for my ex. It’s just sad,” he sneered.
When I finally turned my attention to him, he looked smug, his arm thrown around a pretty young woman with brown hair. My eyes narrowed.
“I thought you were seeing Khloe?”
He made a choking sound, and the woman he was with whipped her head around to face him.
“Who’s Khloe?”
Alan waved his hands, shaking his head. “No one. He’s mistaken. Just ignore him.”
