AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His grin only grew as he placed a hand on his chest in mock outrage. "I would never... It goes against my code of honor." Theodore made a noise that sounded suspiciously like disbelief, but wisely kept his mouth shut and allowed me to continue making my decision.
What was even left for me if I chose to go back? Loneliness? Pain? Regret? My throat tightened up with emotion as one thing became clear: I wasn't ready to choose yet.
"I need a fucking nap," I said suddenly, looking away from the mirror. I didn't want to look at that body anymore. I didn't want to see my face with those blue lips and all that blood pooling on my white dress. "Naps always help clear my head. It's like dying, only temporarily." The absurdity of that statement hit me the second the words left my mouth, and I laughed. The sound was slightly hysterical, so I shut my mouth with a snap of my teeth.
"As you wish, blue girl," Bael said musically. My little nickname made me smile in spite of the turmoil writhing deep inside me." He didn't even give me a second to brace myself before his fingers wrapped around my upper arm, and a wave of buzzing energy surrounded us.
We were gone in the blink of an eye.
The walls of my wagon were starting to close in around me, yet I somehow couldn't seem to make myself leave. The more time I spent gazing at them, the more I felt like maybe they would provide some answers if only I could sit there long enough.
Bael and I had appeared in my room within seconds of telling him that I needed a nap. With a burning kiss that I wished lasted a lot longer, he disappeared without a word, leaving me with my own thoughts.
Before taking my mental health nap, I lit several candles perched on little shelves that decorated the wooden paneling of the wagon. Mine wasn't nearly the same size as Ellie's, but it was cozy and private.
Now that I'd slept for a few hours and sat motionless for a few more, the candles were burning out, the room smelled like lavender and smoke, and carnival music drifted in from outside. I felt groggy and listless, and it got worse with every minute that passed. There was no way to tell time, and it was disorienting.
If what Theodore said was true, then time didn’t mean anything here. In the real world, only seconds had passed. My body—myrealbody, was laying suspended in time, bleeding out and waiting to die while my soul was trapped in this crazy undead carnival.
Bael said I had a choice to make, but was there even a real choice? It was either let my body die and watch as those mirrors chose my fate for me, or I could agree to live out this half life here…forever. Living wasn't an option. I never wanted to live like that again.
I gazed around the wagon, taking stock of everything in the small room. Could I really make this my home? Could I agree to live here for eternity? It scared me that my immediate answer was yes.
Truth be told, Theodore and Bael scared the shit out of me, and I still wasn’t sure either of them had my best intentions at heart. There was something in the way Bael pressed me that made me feel like my decision meant more to him than it should have. I suppose I could chalk it up to the fact that we’d had mindblowing sex…
My fingers curled into the rumpled, silken bedding as images of his tattooed skin and pierced cock filled my mind. My whole body, whether it was real or just magic, began to tingle as if he was still touching me. I wouldn’t lie and say I regretted what we’d done. I didn’t regret a single thing, because sleeping with him had been the one thing in a very long time that I’d had some semblance of control over, and I could never regret that.
But what washismotive? Could I let myself believe he actually wanted me? Or was this all a part of some sick and twisted plan to sway me into staying here? Anger sparked in me like a burning flame, simmering until I realized I was gripping the sheet so tightly it might have ripped if I didn’t let go. The thought of Bael taking advantage of me in that way made me see a haze of red.
But then there was Theodore too. Back in the circus tent as romantic music played for us, and the smell of cigar smoke permeated the air while we laughed and drank, there had been a moment where I’d peered into his otherworldly eyes and felt a spark of something genuine. Iwasterrified of him, especially now that I knew who he really was, but I was also curious. Maybe a little bit too fucking curious.
But I was already dead, right? My body was almost bled out, and I knew for a fact that there was no realistic way I could ever return to life in the real world, so what did I really have to lose if I decided to start playing their little game?
My thoughts were interrupted when something landed on my lap. Something silky and furry, purring loudly as he rubbed against me.
I chuckled as I reached out and caressed Lafayette’s little face. “Where the hell did you come from?” He just meowed in response, his twinkling ice-blue eyes taking up his whole face. “I guess that's a secret too, huh?” Among many, apparently. I scratched under his soft chin and he squinted his eyes at me. “You’d tell me if Theodore sent you here just to spy on me, right?”
Lafayette’s eyes flew open wide, and he jerked his head back away from my touch. He let out a little grumble and flicked his tail before looking away from me. I just blinked at the little black cat.
“You can understand every word I’m saying, can’t you.” It wasn’t really a question. The way he peered back at me, giving me a cheeky side eye confirmed it. I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest and leveling him with a look. “Well if you happen to see your master tonight, you can tell him that if he wants to spy on me, he can knock on my damn—”
Knock, knock, knock…
I froze, staring in horror at the closed door. Lafayette hopped off of the bed and pranced towards it with his tail flicking in the air. For a moment I had no idea what to do. If it was Theodore on the other side of that door, I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk to him just yet. I needed more time to collect my thoughts before I allowed those penetrating, hypnotic eyes to suck me in again.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Mori, let me in already!” Ellie’s voice called out from the other side of the door.
I exhaled a sigh of relief and quickly got up to let Ellie in. As I opened the door, she slid past me, a mischievous glint in her eye. “What are you doing here?” I asked, closing the door behind her.
“Checking up on you, darling,” she replied with a shrug. “You’ve been holed up in here for hours, and we were getting worried.” Bywe, I assumed she meant her and Tony.
"I'm not okay," I croaked, deciding I needed at least one person who knew the truth. “I’m might actually lose my fucking mind, Ellie.”
"Oh, honey," Ellie sighed, pulling me into an embrace. Her soft touch was a balm to my broken spirit as I leaned my forehead on her shoulder, closing my eyes as I tried to breathe evenly. We stayed that way, with Ellie patting my back lightly until I could breathe again. When we pulled away from each other, she had a serious look in her pink eyes. “Are you sure you want to stay here?”
“Absolutely,” I said. Then I shrugged, feeling suddenly confused. “Wait… Ughh, I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to decide right now,” she said softly. "Just keep your mind open. This place isn't so bad. I never once regretted my decision to stay.”
