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“Yes.”
“How?” Jimmy looked at me and back to Cash. “I mean, I know how, but—” Then he pivoted. His eyes widened, and it didn’t seem as though he could blink. After a significant pause, his nose scrunched up. “Wait ... you knew all this time and you didn’t tell me? How could you do that to me, Mom?”
Finding my footing, I rose from the couch. “It’s complicated. And before you say anything, you need to know that I did what I thought was best.”
“Really? Best for who? You? I can’t believe this. All the times I talked about Cash Jameson. How I idolized him as a ballplayer, how I studied his pitches, how upset I was when he got hurt. We were just talking about him before spring break. About him coming here. Why didn’t you tell me then? And what about Cash? He didn’t know either?” His head snapped toward his father. “Did she lie to you too?”
A chill skated down my spine. He was right. I had lied.
“Your mom tried to tell me. I’m ashamed to say that your grandfather, my father, didn’t believe her.” He went on to describe all the other ways I tried, but it fell on deaf ears because the more Cash spoke, the redder Jimmy’s face became. Disappointment painted his expression. I did that. Not his paternal grandfather—me.
Jimmy began to pace, his steps quickening with each turn. “I can’t believe this. I should be happy, right? The man I’ve looked up to and wanted to be like is my dad. No wonder I’m good at baseball. Hold on ... did you know at the game?” He stopped pacing and asked Cash, who shook his head.
“This is unreal. How could you not tell me, Mom? I’m not a kid. I’m fourteen!”
“I’m sorry, Jimmy.” My hand went to touch his arm, but he pulled away from me, sending my heart to my feet.
His chin quivered, reminding me of all the times I’d console him when he was upset. But now I was the cause of his pain. Me.
“Sorry? You’re sorry? Is that supposed to make me feel better? I don’t understand any of this. Especially you, Mom. The person I thought was the most honest in the world lied to me.”
“Jimmy, give your mom time to explain,” Cash said, but his soft voice did nothing to soothe the situation.
“Explain? How are you not pissed off? I can’t be here.”
His feet were heavy as he crossed the floor. “Wait, where are you going? I love you, honey, Let’s talk—”
“Love me? You love me? Sure you do. And no, I don’t want to talk. I hate you!”
The door opened, and the pictures on the wall rattled as he slammed the door behind him.
“I knew it.” Tears flowed down my cheeks. My son hated me. I knew from teaching that kids could say things they didn’t mean, but the look in my son’s eyes broke me. “I ruined everything.”
“I’ll take care of this. He doesn’t hate you, Hannah. He’s just hurt and confused.”
“Of course he is. Why did you blurt it out like that? How could you do that to me? I knew it was a mistake to have you here, but last night you were so convincing.”
Last night, after he kissed me, he could have convinced me to do a lot more than talk to our son. Damn him and his kisses. Those lips held some sort of hypnotic power, and that annoyed the heck out of me. Still, this wasn’t about me and Cash. It was about Jimmy. Everything else was frivolous in comparison.
“Hannah.”
“No, don’tHannahme. He’s my son, and I let him down.”
Cash pulled me into his arms. “I’ll go talk to him.”
“How? We don’t even know where he went.”
“I’m sure I can figure it out. I’ll call you.”
He let me go, and once the door clicked closed behind Cash, I allowed the tears to fall.
Chapter11
Cash
The black mountain bike that had been leaning against the porch was no longer there. Thinking he couldn’t have gotten far, I hustled through the neighboring yard, got in my rental car, and drove to the one place I’d go—the diamond.
Keeping my eyes peeled for him, I took the two-lane roads leading to the school. If memory served, and if I were him, I’d avoid the street and hightail it down the dirt path that ran through the woods. Since he was nowhere in sight, I could only assume that was what he’d done—unless I was wrong and he went somewhere else. Then I’d need to rely on Hannah. I’d rather not stress her out any more than she was.
