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Phew! I really want to keep on living. I'm almost sixteen, for heaven's sake!
?? ?????? ??
The hours pass by, and my high school life remains as ordinary as ever, but I'm grateful that Manasseh agreed to keep my secret.
As evening approaches and I lie in bed, I find myself reflecting on recent events, but an unsettling thought lingers in my mind.
THE FLASH DRIVE.
Manasseh still has the flash drive with my photos. Will he throw it away? Actually, will he delete the photos and forget about it all?
Something doesn't feel right. It's too easy. Things shouldn't be that simple with Manasseh. With him, everything is... complicated.
Damn it! I was so thrilled that he agreed to keep the secret that I forgot about the most important aspect. He still has something of mine, and I don't know what decision he will make regarding it.
I need to know!
So, I send him a message, pretending to thank him and blah blah, but I'll make sure to casually slip in the question that's been haunting me. I delete and rewrite all the gratitude, apologies, and everything I had carefully composed for several minutes, ending up with a lengthy message that I have no idea if he'll even read.
Guys don't like long messages.
I had read that in a magazine, and I know that boys don't really like reading anyway. Except for Sami, who is in a completely different league, the league of perfect boys.
From: Reblex
To: Satansseh
———————————————————————————————————————————V—
Hey, Masse. It's Becca. I just wanted to thank you again for agreeing to keep my secret. If you ever need anything, I'll do everything I can to help you. I feel like I'm not grateful enough for everything you've done for me, and I'd like to repay the favor. So... if you ever need me, I'll be there. I don't want you to think I'm some weirdo. I didn't keep the photos on purpose. I was planning to delete them soon, but I just didn't feel like cleaning up my Cloud. That reminds me of the flash drive... you still have my pictures on it. I assume you'll delete them too. Right?
———————————————————————————————————————————V—
- sent
Maybe it would be a good idea to change my name in his contacts.
It sounds childish, I think, but I don't waste any more time and press Send. I wait anxiously, swaying slightly on the edge of the bed, sitting with my legs crossed. A pain in the tip of my finger makes me realize that I had drawn blood from biting my nails, and without realizing it, I had hurt myself. My nails had become stubby from how much I've been chewing on them lately. It's a nervous tic I can't escape from.
Manasseh doesn't answer, not even an hour later, and in the meantime, I fall asleep and have the worst and most restless sleep, just like yesterday.
This makes me feel like a true zombie the next day.
“The tripod is too complicated, and it's getting on my nerves. I think I’d rather pick my brother,” Saza grumbles above the desk where I had collapsed as soon as I arrived at school. With my cheek pressed against the smooth, cold surface of the desk, I feel the impact of the two terrible nights throughout my body. I have a severe headache from the amount of stress I've accumulated lately.
“Saza... do I have any white hairs?”
“What are you talking about, you dorky? You're fifteen.”
“And I think that's enough for me...” I mutter and whimper like a newborn puppy.
I have no idea what's happening to me. The planet has surely become overcrowded lately, and it seems like the rest of the world has no room for me anymore.
The universe is completely rejecting me.
Ever since Manasseh found the pictures, it feels like the Earth is disowning my existence. The stress I've accumulated recently makes me feel like a ghost.
I am snapped out of my thoughts by something tangled in my hair, and when I touch it, I pull out a silly paper airplane that Uriel and a few boys from our class had been playing with since the break started.
