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This girl. I'd had that exact same thought, which said a lot about where my mind was during this whole thing, I guess. I loved how she justgotme.
"I thought the exact same thing."
"That's because we basically share a brain, babe. I thought you knew that."
"Sorry, my brain's a little preoccupied with all the freaking out right now."
"Right, okay. So, when did this happen?"
"Before I tell you anything, you have to swear you won't tell anyone, and I mean anyone. That includes your husband because he can't know until I figure out what I'm doing."
She hesitated. She was my best friend, but Zen was her whole world, and they didn't keep anything from each other. I knew it wasn't really fair of me to ask, but I still had to ask.
"Before I promise that, how long do I have to not say anything? You know it's going to make me crazy, not being able to tell Z."
"I'm not sure, I haven't thought that far ahead. I was hoping to figure out the answer to that with you right now."
She sighed heavily. "Fine, but when we're done if there's any part I can tell him I'm going to. I can't promise to fully keep it from him, it'll make me itchy."
I chuckled. "Agreed, but there's really only a couple minor details you can't tell. The rest is fine as long as he keeps his pretty mouth shut."
"His mouth is pretty, isn't it? And talented." Her voice went all dreamy, and I rolled my eyes.
"Focus, Ken."
"Sorry." She wasn't sorry at all, and we both knew it.
"It happened at your wedding," I whispered, bracing myself.
"What? You're messing with me."
"I'm serious. After you and Zen left, we were having a good time drinking and dancing. I ended up giving in to this ridiculous crush I'd been fighting for months, and I slept with him."
She sighed, already resigned to the fact he was someone she knew well. "Who's him?"
This was the part I'd been dreading. I swallowed hard.
"Amara. Who is it?"
"True."
I could hear her sharp intake of breath. "No fucking way."
"Yep. He'd been flirting with me for months. Do you know he texts me every single day with a song that reminds him of me in some way even now? He's so different than I thought he'd be, but I kept my guard up. I know how things were for you when your relationship with Z went public. I don't need that kind of attention on my life, and my parents would most definitely not approve of him. My guard was down because I'd been drinking, and it just happened."
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will the memories of that night playing through my mind like a movie to go away. Despite the fact I knew True wasn't right for me, I still wanted him. I probably wanted him now more than I had before we slept together, but I wouldn't give in again. I had more than just me to protect now.
"That's crazy. Now I see why you didn't want me to say anything. Are you going to tell him?"
"Yeah, I have to, don't I? I don't need him to be involved, and I don't even know if he'd want to, but I have to give him that chance, right? I refuse to be one of those women who uses her kid as a pawn in some fucked up game of trying to get her baby daddy to stick around. I'll tell him, and he can decide how involved he wants to be."
"What if he wants to be with you? Like with you-with you?" I could hear the hope in her voice. I knew Kennedy held onto some secret fantasy of True and I getting together. We'd fall in love and raise our families together in a big, happy family. Too bad life didn't work like that.
"I don't think he'll want that, and even if he did, I don't want to go through what you went through. I like my life as it is. I became an engineer because I like being behind the screen. Attention from the masses isn't really my jam."
"Hmm."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I didn't like the sound of that hmm. It sounded like her mind was working out a problem I was too stupid to figure out for myself. Like she knew something I didn't.
