Page 23 of Tasting Darkness


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“Nothing you need to worry about,” he mumbles against my skin. My bond ignites as he grips my hips, rolling me against him.

“Something is wrong. You two have been fighting all week,” I tell him, making a pouting face.

“Just leave it,” Darius says, his eyes darkening. Yet I know Lycus and Kalen are struggling with their bonds, too. With Darius sleeping in the other room, Kalen’s sleepwalking is out of control. Pain isn’t accurate enough of a word to describe it. It’s almost like Kalen is missing a limb. They don’t know how to function without him.

Darius is an extension of them. For years he was their keeper, so naturally they gravitated toward him. It has become abundantly clear over the last couple of days how much they react to him. I’ve noticed how much they gravitate toward him. I don’t think they even realize it. For Kalen, Tobias, and Lycus, it is as natural as breathing. Picking up on his moods, they react to them, try to calm him, keep him level-headed, or avoid him when he's angry. It's almost as if they become his peacekeepers. I wonder if it is because he acted as their keeper for so long.

Darius growls, nipping at my neck before gripping my chin. He tilts my face down to his and kisses me. Arousal flares to life like burning embers in a breeze, setting everything ablaze. I can feel his magic rolling over me, consuming me. My bond reacts to it, taking over as I kiss him back with the same burning desire.

Lycus steps out of the bathroom. It is so odd and sometimes disarming to be able to feel Lycus’ emotions and reactions. I could pinpoint each one, tell who was who and if they were close and where they were at all times, completely aware of them, so I knew when he stopped behind me.

I pull my lips from Darius and look up at Lycus’ pitch-black eyes. He smiles, dipping his head down, capturing my lips. I feel Darius tug at the front of my towel, pulling it apart. His lips burn my skin as he nips and licks at my nipple.

I gasp as heat rushes through me, almost like Darius is awakening the urge to shred that I thought had dissipated. Lycus pulls away, looking at me oddly. I try to shake the overwhelming feeling rolling through me, turning my gaze to Darius. He growls, his grip tightening, and I realize it wasn't the urge to shred at all, but him needing magic like he is feeling power drained.

Power-hungry, his lips travel back up to my neck as he kisses and licks his way back to my lips. I kiss him back, letting him take what he needs, letting him recharge off of me. My eyes flutter shut as his tongue invades my mouth.

His kiss is domineering and hungry as he tastes every inch of my mouth. He pulls on my magic, and I give into him, letting him take what he craves. My bond wants more, needs more, so I kiss him back before nipping at his chin, making him sigh. Darius rests his head on the back of the couch. I kiss the marks on his neck and he shudders, his hand moving to my hair as he fists it.

My mouth waters at his addictive scent before running my tongue across his skin. The bond overtakes my senses as I press closer to him, letting his heat seep into me. My teeth press against his skin, breaking his flesh when he tenses. A second later, he yanks my head back by my hair, causing pain to ripple across my scalp, and making me cry out. I clutch his hand in my hair. His demonic eyes gleam back at me while mine fill with tears. Darius stands abruptly and drops me on the couch. He breathes heavily glaring down at me when Lycus shoves him with a growl.

“Darius, what the fuck!” Lycus snarls, while I rub at the back of my head where he pulled my hairs from my scalp.

My bond recoils as rejection smashes against me, making my face heat with embarrassment. I want to run from the room as Darius glares down at me with disgust on face. My bond burns like it's been chucked on an open flame. What did I do? He was fine a few seconds ago.

“Darius?” Lycus growls at him while I shrink under his terrifying glare that is burning into me. Pain from the bond wraps around me, slivering in my veins and making my heart beat faster.

My magic recedes, my bond trying to protect it from our mate. Feeling the way my bond recoils makes realization dawn on me. Of course, Darius didn’t want me. He needed power. That is all it was. He doesn't want me. He just wants what I have to offer. That clarity makes my humiliation worse at how foolishly I was willing to give myself to him.

Power is everything to Darius because with it, he can remain in control of all of us. Use it as a tool to hurt us or deny us. Power to him is a weapon. A tool to be used and manipulated so he can force us to be compliant and obedient to his demands. I thought we were past all this, but clearly, I was wrong.

I feel used, dirty. He powered off me, only to toss me aside when I wanted more. I swallow, looking away as he storms out of the room, not even bothering to answer Lycus. The door slams, making me cringe, while shame begins to creep into me. Why does Darius do this? He shuts me down and returns to being cold, distant and cruel every time I try with him, constantly pulling only for him to shove me away.

Lycus reaches for me, but I jerk my hand away when he tries to grab it, tugging my towel up to cover myself. I rush past Kalen, who moves toward me and into the closet to get changed. I shut the door, slipping some clothes on. I feel stupid. Stupid for believing Darius was capable of being my mate. Stupid for thinking he wanted me, most of all embarrassed at how much I wanted him.

“Aleera?” Kalen asks, knocking on the door. I pull some clothes on quickly. Opening the door, Lycus and Kalen stand there staring at me. I push past them, heading for the door.

“Aleera?” he asks again.

"I have to get to class," I tell them, not bothering to stop. I just want to get away from them, so I go to my safe place. Funny, how I call it that. It is the worst place in the castle. The cells, despite being a dark, desolate place that held me captive when I first arrived here, it is now my place when seeking solitude. It allows me to hide and regather myself as I sit in the old cells. Questioning everything, wondering what is so bad about me that Darius can’t just put the past behind us and accept me.

ChapterSeventeen

My humiliation diminishes after a while, and eventually, I feel stupid for running from Kalen and Lycus. I can feel them searching for me, but I don’t want to be near anyone. Suddenly, I’m hit with the overwhelming urge to be alone again. I think back to when I was on the run. I was alone but comfortable in my own misery. But after so much time alone, it got to the point where I didn't want that. I no longer wanted to be alone in my misery anymore.

I craved interaction, touch, power, and everything I lived without for so long. I desired to not have to look over my shoulder everywhere I went. I dreamed of not having to hide from the world. I craved being able to use my magic without guilt and without fear of what would happen if I did. I wanted for so long to be free. And now, I have a taste of that freedom. I’m not sure I can box it back up and run again. Run from them and myself.

The longer I stay in this cell, the more I contemplate the chaos of my life. I think about what my life has become, and wonder how the fuck I got here. What was the one part of my life that determined it would get to this exact point? Where did I go so detrimentally wrong that I ended up here, at this very moment? I can’t entirely blame my mates. We all played a part. But somewhere along the way, just one stupid night, I gave into the bond and what I thought it offered.

My bond has made me think about who they really are. There are moments that feel like pure bliss with them, but reality always sets in eventually. Blinded by the bond, I’ve forgotten what they had done. Yet I know they had their reasons, they blame me for ruining Kalen, and thought I ran off to be with another.Running from them nearly cost them their magic. It doesn't excuse what they did to me when I arrived here, but it helps me understand. They had their reasons, just as I had mine. But why is Darius still punishing me for it? For once, I let myself believe I could be with them and that it would work out. I thought we had left that darkness in the past.

Hearing the door open, I sit up, leaning against the wall as his heavy footsteps come down the stairs. I quickly wipe my face with the hem of my shirt before glaring at him as he steps off the last step.

“Why are you down here?” Darius asks.

“Why are you down here?” I question back, wondering if he has come to humiliate me more.

“You're upset,” he states. Well, that much is obvious. A quick swipe at my face with my shirt won’t hide the puffiness of my eyes or the blotchiness from crying like an idiot over this insufferable man.

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