AllFreeNovel
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I can’t really share what I need to say at these meetings, so I listen to Karen and then get lost in my head until it ends. Even if I don’t talk, the group and routine keep me strong.
“Sorry, they’re a little stale today.” A voice speaks softly behind me while I go for my favorite donut. Karen appears at my side and grins. “I try to get them fresh, but I had to pick them up last night because today’s been too hectic.”
“My sister’s a single mom, I get it. You’re doing the best you can. And donuts are always good as hell.”
Her smile is big, and when she touches my arm, maybe I don’t hate it.
“Thank you. I needed to hear that. All I do is feel like I’m failing.”
Our chat continues into the parking lot, and she tells me about her job: public relations for the tourist bureau. And about her family, they live in Beaufort. I get an earful by the time we reach my car.
“Would you like to get coffee sometime?” She’s not shy, but suddenly, I am. “And fresh donuts, I promise.”
Would that be a date?
I’ve never done this with anyone but Cade because all the other women were easy pick-ups, and fuck, when I’m drunk, I’m too easy. But I’m stone-cold sober now, and what do I want?
“Redix, I know who you are,” Karen says. “That sounds stupid to say the obvious, but the whole group does, and I’m just being honest. It’s not fair because we all hide behind anonymity, and you can’t. We know all about you.”
“Yeah,”—I lean against my car—“it’s a mindfuck sometimes. I don’t know who to trust.”
“I get it.”
She chews her lip, casting her eyes through her lashes. Yep, that’s flirting, for sure.
“So full transparency.” She wears red lipstick. It’s kinda sexy. “I’ve seen the posts of you lately with some gorgeous woman. If that’s your girlfriend, I don’t mean any disrespect.”
At least she’s honest. And blunt.
“She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”
That sentence crushes my chest.
She grins. “Trust me. I didn’t ask you on a date. It’s just coffee and donuts.” That’s not true, and she’s hedging, and it’s kinda cute. “I have to be so perfect around my mom-friends, so it’s nice just to hang out and really be me.”
Why does this feel awkward? Like it’s wrong, but it’s not. Cade’s moved on. Hell, I made her. And if I can’t be with her, I can’t be alone forever.
“How about after our meeting next Monday?” My stomach twists, but I make myself do this. “I got family stuff for the New Year, but then I’m free.”
“Sounds good.” Her face lights up. “Have you got fun plans?”
“My mama, sister, and nephew; we’ll celebrate.”
I’m about to be polite and ask about her plans, but she blurts, “I’m surprised you don’t have a hot date for New Year’s.”
“No.”
“Still licking your wounds from that pretty ex-girlfriend? Is that why you don’t share much?”
Shit, she’s insightful. Or am I that obvious?
“Something like that.”
“That’s gotta be hard, I’m sorry.” Her feet shuffle. I glance down. She’s wearing Louboutins. Like, I wouldn’t know those black heels anywhere, but it’s an odd fashion choice for an AA meeting. “I mean, I recognize her, to be honest. She’s a local deputy, right?”
“Yeah.”
It’s weird talking about Cade to another woman. But this is what you do, right? You talk about your exes?
