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“And the promise of a hot fuck in Manhattan has nothing to do with this?”
I wish. Redix and I still haven’t fucked, made love, whatever we want to call it.
He had to leave early the following day after his surprise visit, leaving me hungry for much more, and he’s been gone for two weeks since.
“Look. It’s the July Fourth holiday, and I’ve worked every single one for six years. We’re at a stalemate on our missing woman case and hitting our heads against a brick wall on the others. This is three days of me taking a break before I snap and heads roll.”
“Okay, okay.” Penny relents. “I get it. I’m losing my mind too at the progress we’re not making.”
“When I get back next weekend, I’m babysitting. You’ve got enough milk stored, and I want my goddaughter all weekend while you and Hank do God will only know what to each other. I’ll even use this money and book y’all a suite somewhere. Deal?”
“Hell yes, that’s a deal. I got no guilt over Redix Dean and his money spoiling me.”
“It’s my money.”
“It was his deal.” Penny’s coming around quickly. “What else is gonna be his by the end of this trip? Are you gonna come back as Mrs. Dean?”
The mention of that? Of a future that far from now with Redix?
I can’t see it. I can’t see past my deal. The one I made with God. It’s all I’ve focused on for years. I gave up wedding plans for an event much more momentous.
But can I change?
With the way I’m feeling about Redix again? With every sweet thing he does, big and small? I know he’s feeling this too.
Nothing but a vast ocean is in my view… and ten victims… one missing woman… Pamela gone… and two broken souls if you count me and Redix.
No. For their sake… I can’t change.
“I’d like to come back laid for now,” I answer Penny.
“New York and modeling? I’m not jealous about that,” Penny says. “But if you finally get to fuck Redix Dean? Girl, I’d walk barefoot over hot pavement to New York City for that man. And my God, when I got there—I’d ride him like the Kentucky Derby.”
I snort the champagne I’m sipping. “I’ll buy you the big hat.”
“One with lots of feathers because, oh my, how I’d tickle his ass too.”
His ass. His body. I’m dying for every naked inch of him. I don’t know why he’s so shy, but I haven’t seen or touched all of him yet. I’m in pain for one more time with him. It makes me throw the rest of my champagne back.
“Feathers. Leather. Chains. I don’t care.” I lower my voice as the attendant comes by to refill me. “You have no idea how bad I need him.”
“Yes, I do. You’ve tried hiding it all these years but suck at it. You know I caught you one time.”
“Caught me?”
I lift the full glass of bubbles to my lips.
“You were at your desk looking at your phone. The look on your face, I thought something was wrong with your mom. But when I came over to ask if you were okay, I saw what was on your screen. It was Redix and that video of him fucking that woman like a dog in a parking lot.”
Another big sip of champagne cools the sudden burn in my throat.
All those videos of him, all the times he got caught fucking around. His fans and the press think it’s funny. It’s part of the sexy, rebel mystique of Redix Dean. It’s a myth. That’s not him. I can see it in his eyes in those videos. That’s what hurts so damn much. It’s not him in that body. He’s lost in whatever drunk or high he’s on.
“I know how much you love him, Cade.” Penny’s tone warms. “That’s why I worry—you’d do anything for him.”
“I’d kill for him,” I mutter, trapped in that thought.
I didn’t mean to say it aloud.
