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Fear and anger both rolled through me, but I focused on the latter.
I wanted to slice Joseph’s balls off and shove them up his greedy ass. Then I would cut out the little cunt’s lying tongue and fuck his throat with it until he choked to death.
Good riddance.
I’d never considered hurting someone in retaliation, but that punk ass kid who had abused Mason and had broken down the confidence he’d gained since escaping the prison of his childhood home? I wanted to inflict ten times the physical and emotional pain Joseph had Mason.
He’d done so while dressed as a fairy. Wearingpink. A damned satin jockstrap of which I owned more than one.
That image he’d painted in my head, along with the secrets I hid from my lover, caused bile to rise. I forced my focus elsewhere, swallowing against my need to vomit. Hearing what had happened to him solidified in my mind that part of me needed to be left in the past, never to be resurrected.
If he knew I dreamed of being free to let my feminine side shine, he would be reminded of Joseph—and be disgusted beyond what even my father had been. And the last thing I wanted to do was wear something that might trigger Mason and possibly send him spiraling again.
Disappointment wanted to creep in, but my beautiful man needed me fully in the moment, emotionally available. I would sacrifice that small part of what made me happy if it meant helping my lover find healing from his wounds.
“Is Elite’s owner aware of what happened that night you spent with his client?” I asked, running my fingers up and down his spine, thankfully soothing my own mind by caressing him in the way he loved.
He stayed plastered to my chest, his body at an awkward, twisted angle. For the first time since meeting him, I wished he was smaller than me so he could cuddle on my lap.
“Yes. That’s what I needed to call Micah about after we left the police station on Sunday. He’s Elite’s owner. It was why I didn’t invite you up here—I didn’t want you to know the truth. I’m sorry for lying about the odd jobs.”
I kissed his hair again. “I forgive you, Mason.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that,” I assured him while peeling him away from me. I settled back onto the couch, keeping hold of his hand for a continued connection between us.
“You’re too good to me,” he murmured, not looking at me.
“No,” I correct him gently, “I’m exactly what you need—same as you are for me.”
Tears once more welled in his eyes. “You probably think I’m a baby with how much I cry. I’m forty-two for fuck’s sake.”
“It’s okay to have and express emotions,” I murmured while smoothing his hair from his forehead. “And it’s healthy to allow those you’ve bottled up for so long find release.”
He leaned into my touch like he always did. “It’s scary how much I want you—only you can save me.”
“I can’t be the one to put your pieces back together, Mason—I can’t be your savior. You’re going to have to do that on your own.”
“How? Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it,” Mason begged, tears still rolling down his cheeks.
“You can focus on the little things like that chart I made for you, but you will benefit the most by seeing a therapist,” I said. “And I know the perfect one, someone I can promise will listen, will be understanding, and will never judge you for your past.”
I told Mason about Zeke, and while my friend didn’t practice outside Humanity House, I knew he would take on seeing Mason for me if I asked. I didn’t trust anyone else with Mason’s fragile emotions.
Zeke would have the tools to help Mason. He would be able to guide him in growing in self-awareness, forgiving himself, and eventually finding healing.
“I-I think I would like that,” Mason agreed. “But only because he’s your friend.”
“What did Micah say to you about pressing charges?” I asked, taking us back to the last bit of the story I wanted closure with.
“He said to do whatever I needed to.”
“He will support you either way? Didn’t try to talk you out of it or anything?” I needed clarity.
“Yes he does, and no, he didn’t tell me to keep quiet about the affair.” Mason studied our clasped hands, his free hand’s index finger sliding along the grooves and dips between our skin in a self-calming gesture. “Elite isn’t an illegal business, and Micah said that fact would hold no matter the scrutiny an investigation might bring. But when it comes right down to it, I just don’t think I can face having to deal with Joseph and an ongoing case for months on end because that’s how long it will take. His father will make it a bigger deal than it would have been even because of the Delaney name. I…I just don’t have the strength for that.”
“So you’re leaning toward a no?”
