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Never to be sought again, either.
I can’t let him in. I just can’t.
He’d been there, done that, and gotten his heart broken in the process. It was a pain that had stayed with him, a pain he didnotwant to suffer again, and that meant not letting himself get into that position.
Ever.
Letting Butch in opened the door to potentially losing him one day, and although there were risks associated with anything worthwhile in life, he wasn’t prepared to take that risk.
None of it made sense.
It was illogical and he knew it.
“Sol?”
He gave himself a mental kick for getting so lost in his own head that he’d forgotten he wasn’t alone. He gestured to the bed. “Sit, please.”
“Don’t I need to take my jeans off?” Butch smirked. “It might be a little difficult to put that on otherwise.”
Sol set the cock cage aside. “That’s for later. Right now we need to talk.”
Butch sat. “Sounds kinda serious.”
“To be honest, we’ve already begun this conversation. Remember I asked if there were things you wanted to try—or not, as the case may be?”
“Sure.”
Sol perched on the foot of the bed. “Well, that’s one of the things we need to discuss. There’s an awful lot we could talk about, but time is not on our side. So… think of this as an introduction.” He noted Butch’s intense gaze. “You’re dipping your toes into a whole new world of experiences, and it might be that you decide ‘hey, you know what? This isn’t for me.’”
Butch frowned. “‘An introduction’? I see. But what happens if Ilikehow it’s going? Where do we go from there? Will you show me more?”
Sol’s heart raced. DearLord, he wanted that. He forced himself to be practical, however.
“See,that’swhat I want to talk about. You’d be starting on a journey, but your guide might change along the way.” Sol was dancing around the subject, instead of coming right out with it and speaking plainly, but he couldn’t help himself.
Butch leaned back on his hands. “So let me see if I understand you right. What you’re saying is, I mightstartwith you but that’s not necessarily who I continue with?”
Sol smiled, relief flooding through him.
“It makes sense. You’re here, and I’m in San Francisco. And while Idoknow a couple of Doms who have subs in other states, and they manage to make things work at a distance, I’m not sure I could do that.”
His stomach clenched at the lie.I don’twantto do that.Putting distance between them would prevent him from falling further than he already had.
I can be honest about that much.He could even pinpoint the moment when he’d first recognized Butch could be important to him.
I didn’t come back to Salvation to help Toby out. I came back for Butch.
And that had been a mistake. He should’ve seen the way things were going, recognized the danger signs.
It isn’t too late. I can still walk away.
Then he noticed how quiet the room was.
Butch gazed at him, doing his damnedest not to appear disappointed.
“Oh. Yeah, I can see how that might not work.”
Butwhycan’t it?
