AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m yours,” I reply. This is the easy part. If people in my real life knew what I was doing here every night, they’d think I was crazy, but I stopped caring about that. Why would I care when everything here feels so fucking good?
The moment is tender and quiet for a while. It feels like fifteen minutes go by until I feel her jerking on the ropes tied around my right arm. The pain intensifies, and I realize my entire arm has gone numb. “Your hand is turning blue. Does it hurt?”
“I’m fine,” I reply calmly.
“Answer the question, Clay. Does this hand hurt?”
“I can take it, Madame.”
“Dammit, Clay,” she snaps in a frantic, angry tone.
The calm moment is gone, and now she’s quickly pulling and untying the knots around my legs and torso until she finally loosens the ones cascading up my arms. The minute she does, it’s like needles pulsing their way down from my shoulder to my fingers. I immediately wince in pain.
“I told you to tell me if it hurts,” she barks. She’s kneeling in front of me now, rubbing my hand, even though it aches the way it does when your limb is waking up, and every touch is like a stabbing pain. “Do you have feeling in your fingers?”
“Yes…” I stammer, trying to wiggle them. The tingling is intense and throbbing, but I try to hide it.
“You could suffer serious nerve damage, Clay. You have to tell me when it hurts like that.”
“I’m fine, Eden.”
Her head snaps up, and she glares into my eyes with animosity. “Why do you do that?” she asks.
“Do what?”
“Try to be tough for me. Put yourself through pain just because you think it pleases me? I don’t want to hurt you, Clay. I never want to really hurt you, and I need to trust that you’ll be honest with me so that I never do. Do you understand? It’s not about you being tough and manly for me. We can’t do this if I can’t trust you. We have to be honest with each other.”
She’s clearly upset, her eyes wide and filled with fear. Shaking off the rope, I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into her neck. “I’m okay. I promise. I’ll tell you next time. You can trust me.”
“This is all built on trust, Clay. If we don’t have that, we don’t have anything.”
Pulling away, I take her by the shoulders and stare into her eyes. “You can trust me.”
After she slowly calms down, I notice the way she catches herself. I think she took herself by surprise with her panicked reaction. I guess it’s good to know I’m not the only one thrown off by this relationship of ours.
“I just don’t want to hurt you,” she says carefully, inspecting my hands again.
Leaning forward, I press my forehead to hers. “You could never hurt me.”
Rule #20: Let them in.
Eden
Jack is standing at the plate, looking far too small, as the coach slowly lobs a baseball toward him. With his tiny hands clutched tight around the bat, he swings so hard it nearly knocks him off his feet. The ball lands in the dirt behind him, hitting the fence with a soft crash.
“That’s okay, bud!” Clay cheers from beside me. “Choke up on the bat a little.”
Jack turns toward us, his helmet too big for his head as it falls over his eyes. After adjusting it, he smiles at Clay and moves his little grip higher up on the bat.
“That’s it. Good job. Now keep your eye on the ball.”
Jack nods obediently to Clay and then smiles at me. I give him an encouraging expression before he turns back toward the plate with renewed confidence.
On the next pitch, he swings and makes a resounding impact with the ball, sending it flying toward the coach, who quickly dodges with a high jump before it can knock him on the shins. Every parent in the stands around us starts to cheer, and it takes Jack a few moments before he realizes he’s supposed to start running.
“Go, buddy!” I scream as I bounce on my feet, clapping with a wide grin.
