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“What do you need? Did you use protection? Do we need to go to the pharmacy?”
I shook my head and gave her a soft smile. “No. Hawk used protection.”
She sighed in relief. “I knew I always liked that boy. He treated you okay?”
“Yeah, Mom. He did. He was amazing, and I think I could love him, but I can’t do that to Bry.”
“Your brother loves you both. He might not be able to accept it now but don’t give up on him. He always does like to wait until a full count to swing.”
She kept petting my hair, stroking it as we spoke. It was soothing and comforting, something I’d desperately been needing.
“A small part of me kept hoping he’d stop me and tell Bryce that he loved me too. But he didn’t. Even though I know I started it by saying it meant nothing, I wanted him to prove me wrong in some epic romantic gesture. But he just went along with it. He let me break both of our hearts. Why?”
“Rejection is a hard thing to swallow for anyone, BB, and you know how hard it’s been for him since Libby died. Just give him time.”
Sucking in a breath, I knew my mom was right. But I couldn’t wait around for some romantic gesture or for Hawk to save me from the mess I made. Actions had consequences, and I’d set us on this path. It was time I rescued myself.
“How much of a mess did I make?” I asked, picking at my nails or what was left of them.
“Nothing your father’s PR team can’t handle. Don’t worry about that. You did the right thing.”
“Hawk and I broke into the reception and stole food and cake, by the way. It was delicious. You did a great job.”
Mom laughed, asking me how we managed it, and I regaled her with the fork-brandishing moment.
“Oh, BB, I can just picture it. My fierce little warrior princess.”
“Thanks, though I don’t feel much like a warrior princess, much less a fierce one,” I admitted, dropping my eyes. “I hate my job. I still live at home and just left my fiance at the altar. It’s not really all that great in my corner right now.”
“I have an idea, but I want you to think about it and not do it just because I’m suggesting it,” she said, holding my eyes until I nodded in agreement. “Aunt Lola has always wanted you to visit. This could be the perfect opportunity. You already have time off from work for the honeymoon. Go and visit her instead. Get away from everything here and see if you can find your own path.”
Aunt Lola, Mom’s younger sister. The wild one.
I hadn’t seen her since I was little, not since she moved to Greece. “Do you think she’d be okay with that?”
“Of course. She’d love it. And there’s this new wellness center she told me about. I think it could be time to see someone and figure out who you are, away from baseball and your illness.”
“And you all.”
She shrugged, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. It was how I knew this wasn’t a ploy but a true lifeline she was giving me—a chance to break out on my own and be me without the influence of anyone else.
It felt scary. The furthest I’d ever been away from my family was an hour. I didn’t know if I could go two whole weeks.
But it also sounded amazing and exhilarating. My heart thumped in my chest at the thought of exploring myself and talking to someone who didn’t know me. I’d always wanted to do therapy, but something always stopped me.
“It’s not running away?” I asked, biting my lip.
“What’s your father always say about running the bases?” she asked, lifting a brow.
I sighed and nodded. “You gotta know when to steal and when to retreat.”
“Exactly. I think this is the perfect time to retreat and let your heart heal.”
I sucked in a deep breath as I thought it over and realized she was right.
“Help me pack?”
My mom smiled and hugged me, kissing me on the cheek as she nodded. And just like that, I was heading off to prepare for a trip.
