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I spent those years building evidence against him and tracking down every lead. I prayed every day that you and Christopher would end things on your own, but that day never came.
Andrea, when you announced your engagement, I went to the bathroom and lost the contents of my stomach. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth, either. Maybe I’m a monster, too. I know I’ve done more wrong than right, and I’ll never be able to make up for it.
I watched your face that day and realized you were happy. You were in love, and that tore me up more than anything else possibly could. I questioned everything then. Everything I knew to be true didn’t feel real anymore.
Maybe Christopher had changed in those years, maybe he was good to you. Maybe he really loved you as much as you loved him. Maybe things would be okay.
I walked out of your brownstone with a knot in my stomach and a shattered heart. I faced the possibility of breaking your heart on two fronts: one with your father and one with the man you loved.
I didn’t know what to fucking do, Andrea. Please understand that I thought I would only make it worse for you by shattering your entire world. ALL I ever wanted was for the two of you to be happy. I would sacrifice the entire world if I could ensure that for you two.
Adalyn, I’m sorry for the ripple effect this has had on your life. If I’d had a backbone then, none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t have been kidnapped. You wouldn’t have been beaten. You wouldn’t have experienced the worst trauma of your life. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for letting you down.
I tried to keep you both safe the only way I could. I see so many things I could have done differently now… and I wish I had.
But I never let up on gathering the evidence. My heart wouldn’t let me. Not for you, not for Addy, and certainly not for Tessa.
In this file you’ll find everything you need to take Malcom and Christopher down. There are things in here that will change you in ways I never wanted for either of you. In ways I can’t even write out because it’s too heartbreaking, but it’s all here. The foundation you need.
Colin, my PI, will help you piece it together. He’s the only one I’ve trusted with this, and you can, too. Just please know I never wanted it to come to this. Use it, do what I didn’t have the chance to do. Live. Live a life full of love, happiness, and joy. For me.
I love you all so very much.
- Andrew
Silence fills the room for several moments before Joe speaks up. “He couldn’t see all the good his decisions caused. Yes, all of you suffered, but his decisions also put all of you—all of us—right here. Together. If not for Andrew, Jack and Andrea wouldn’t have each other. Nathan, Adalyn, and precious Sophia wouldn’t be together. Irene and I have certainly had our lives enriched by all of you.”
Joe’s voice cracks at the end of his sentence, and Irene takes his hand in hers to give it a squeeze. I know Joe’s right. We’re all together because of Andrew, but he isn’t here now for us to thank him. To ease his mind and unburden his heart about decisions he made all those years ago.
Andrea stands abruptly. “I’m not giving up on him. He has to be okay. He just has to,” she says with a sniffle. “I’ll call hospitals in Sacramento. We have to find him.”
Adalyn stands to join her. Devastation still clearly etches her pretty features, but her shoulders look squared, confident. She’s determined. “I’ll call the police stations and see if there are any reports involving him.”
They both walk into the dining room together to make calls. I feel frozen in time. The feeling I’ve had all day suddenly makes sense. My person is gone. Andrew is gone. I didn’t get to tell him how I feel about him. He left me a letter pouring his heart out, but now he’s gone without ever knowing the depth of my love for him. My mind, or maybe it’s my heart, refuses to accept this fate. This can’t be true; this can’t be real.
Nathan stands and walks over to take the seat Andrea just left beside Jack. Jack still clicks through the evidence on the drive. His face tells me it’s a lot of bad news. My mind can’t focus on that right now. All I can think of is Andrew.
“How can he just be gone? And how does that guy know he’s gone? Who the fuck is that guy?” The questions swirling in my mind spill from my lips in a rush. The initial shock of his letter still hasn’t worn off, and I’ve never felt anything like this before.
“There are email exchanges in here between Andrew and the Colin he mentions in the letter. The guy who dropped this off could have been him or hired by him. Colin is a private investigator based on what I’ve read. It looks like he’s worked for Andrew for some years to uncover all this evidence. It’s not just on Christopher but Malcom, too.” Jack’s attention is back on the laptop and the evidence it contains. He’s gone into detective mode.
Adalyn rushes into the living room. “There was an anonymous 911 call made. The caller said Andrew was run off the road by another car. The caller gave an approximate location. There were multiple accidents with injuries reported at that time, in that area, so it’s unclear if Andrew was for sure involved, and if he was, where he ended up.” Her words hit me like bricks.
“And!” I say, my heart pounding in my ears. I want more than anything for her to tell me he’s okay, that this is all just a mistake.
“There’s no report available yet. It just happened this morning,” Addy says with pain in her voice. I know this kills her just as much as Andrea and me.
My heart sinks again. We need to go to Sacramento. We’ll go to every hospital until we find him. I can’t accept he’s gone until I see it for myself.
Andrea hurries into the living room. “I called the hospitals closest to where all those accidents were reported. There are multiple people injured, but they don’t have anyone identified as Andrew.
However, there are two men who haven’t yet been identified. Both are believed to be near Andrew’s age, and both have head trauma. One can’t remember his name, and the other is in a coma.”
“Why wouldn’t Andrew have identification on him?” Adalyn asks, trying to make sense of the situation.
“Depending on the severity of the accident—or accidents, as were reported—his ID, wallet, and phone could be anywhere along the roadway. They could be alongside the belongings of other drivers who were involved, too,” Jack answers.
Adalyn doesn’t respond with words. There’s a sadness in her eyes, but this gives me hope. He may not be gone, just lost. And we’re going to find him.
