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I nod, and I lead her back into the clinic waiting room. We sit in silence until Grayson brings Hayes out and takes Tessie back into the exam room so he can check her out. I don’t offer to stay with Hayes Kline. He doesn’t need me, and I definitely have no use for him.
As soon as Tessie is through the connecting door and out of sight, I stand up and walk back to my apartment, thinking about nothing but her comment that I’m going to stop being interested in Grayson just like I stopped caring about the violin.
Is she right? Is this just what I do? Am I a person who’s foundationally unable to commit?
If I am, I should stop this thing with Grayson before it goes any farther.
20
GRAYSON
Doctor/patient privilege is a real thing, and it’s critical. But there are a few gray areas. When a kid goes exploring out of bounds and gets sick enough to require oxygen treatments, I have to report the situation to Wanda.
Tomorrow morning. First thing.
But tonight, I need to find Sage.
I go upstairs, hopeful that she stayed. That she made herself at home. That she watched the movie we had planned. That she ate some cheese and got comfortable and decided this is the place for her.
But she’s not here. The food’s put away, and the blanket is moved to a different spot on the couch.
I didn’t really say goodbye. That kid could not have had worse timing. My fingers clench just thinking about almost kissing her.
And when she showed up in the waiting area, keeping Tessie company, I was so glad she was there. She probably got a different layer of information from her cousin than I got from Hayes Kline, and I should probably find out what she knows before I call Wanda.
Sure. That’s why I want to call her right now.
I sit down on the couch and put in my earbuds. When her phone rings and rings, I check the time.
She might have gone to bed, but it’s not that late.
But maybe she was tired.
Or maybe something happened.
Not like something tragic or dangerous. Just something. Maybe she’s out for a walk in the dark without her phone. That sounds like a bad idea. Maybe she’s with Tessie again, doing the comfort thing she seems to do so well.
Maybe she’s ignoring my call.
No. That’s not going to happen. She was as invested in tonight’s almost-kiss as I was.
She’s just busy. Too busy on a Sunday night to answer a call from me.
Yeah, that’s not a super happy thought.
I pull on a jacket and leave my apartment. Walking over to her place, I pass a ton of kids walking around. Everyone’s holding hands and snuggling. It seems like half of campus is taking advantage of the crisp air and pre-curfew moonlight. Everyone’s coupled up. The kids all look like models in some ad for high school homecoming season. Everyone’s bundled up and grinning. Straight teeth and music coming out of pocketed phones, and scarves everywhere, like they’re part of the dress code. Tonight is perfect fall weather for being on a date, and I wrecked it for Sage and me. Thinking back on our other dates, I realize this isn’t the first time. My work gets in the way. It pulls me out of situations I’d rather stay in.
And that’s always going to be the case. It’s the nature of being in medicine, but more particularly, the nature of being the only doctor at the campus clinic. My contract is not in any way unfair. I get all summer off, just like the teachers. And I don’t have to do grades or work fundraisers. But the teachers aren’t on call after hours. They don’t have to answer their email immediately. And I only have to deal with one kid at a time.
Working at Chamberlain is different for me than it is for them, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.
It only feels bad when it takes me away from Sage.
I get to her apartment and I can see that there are lights on. I knock on the door.
She doesn’t answer.
I knock again, and then I pull out my phone. It rings until voicemail picks up.
