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“It’s fine, you need to know.” As long as I had her right here then I would be fine. “My father was a twisted bastard, there was no love or affection given to my brothers and I from him. He trained us ever since we were young, but his methods were brutal. We were forced into bratva life at a young age, nearly all of us having been forced to kill before we hit our teenage years. The twins managed to escape most of it because we had moved to the states when they were around four. Thankfully the public school system here was enough to keep us away from our father for the bulk of the day. It also kept my father in line because he couldn’t beat us like he usually did otherwise the authorities would be called.”
Pausing for a moment, I breathed deeply to keep myself fully rooted. “It took him a while here in the states, but he managed to build a branch of our family’s bratva here in Nespin. My brothers and I tried to make ourselves scarce with college and making a life for ourselves, but he never left us alone. He wanted and planned for us to work alongside him, to take over once he was gone. We didn’t want any part of it, and if it weren’t for our mother and sister, we would have left completely. He used them against us to keep us in compliance.”
The things I’ve done to keep my mother and sister safe, to keep my father appeased; they were things I weren’t proud of or wanted to dig back up. Those actions weren’t a reflection of me. My reputation was bathed in blood and violence, something I tried to clear up to this day.
“Sounds more of a sperm donor than a parent.” Angel joked with a chuckle as she reached over with her other hand and grabbed mine, bringing it over to her own lips and placing a kiss on it.
The feeling of her soft lips made a shiver run straight down my back to my manhood as I thought back to that first morning. I couldn’t wait to have those pretty lips of hers wrapped around my hard cock again. God, she looked so arousing and felt so good.
“Long story short, he overstepped a line and fucked himself over when he got rid of his means of controlling us, and we overthrew him. Ever since I’ve taken over as Pakhan, we’ve been correcting our father’s shitshow.” That was by far the most exhausting part, but at least it was mostly settled now after the years.
“You said your parents are dead...” I could see the thoughts tumbling around in her eyes when I looked at her.
“My father killed my mother, and I returned the favor.” I would never regret that moment in my life, ever. Of all the kills in my life, I took the greatest pleasure in taking his life. He caused my mother’s death, and my sister suffered greatly before meeting the same fate because of him.
Shockingly, Angel didn’t seem to be thrown off by my statement, or if she was then she did a good job at hiding it. “You seem like a reasonable man, so anyone you kill probably deserved it. Just because you’re related by blood doesn’t mean shit. I probably sound like a psycho, and to a normal person probably, but you and I both grew up in a fucked-up life.”
Two psychos fit for each other, what are the odds. The thought was enough to bring a soft laugh out of me as I pulled her hand back and kissed it. “Well, our kids will never go through anything like that, I swear on it.”
“Our kids?” I could tell she was probably blushing by the little uptake in her voice.
“Eventually I want to start a family with you. Don’t you?” I didn’t care about having an heir to my legacy or having kids for that matter until Angel happened. “You have no idea how much it turns me on to think about knocking you up and watching our love grow inside you, then the image of you taking care of our little ones, to be able to come home from the office to a house full of our children.” I wanted all of that with Angel, and only her.
CHAPTER 15
Angel
God, please don’t letthis be some fucked up dream. This husband of mine started to sound too good to be true. Sure, he has a really fucked up past from the sounds of it and a very fucked up childhood, but it amazed me to see him go against his upbringing. Not many people could defy their environment like that.
My childhood was nowhere close to his. Hell, compared to his, it might even be considered lavish. My father may have forced me to partake in some aspects of the triad, but he was never harsh about it or went to the lengths Nikolai had been put through. Then, when I hit my teen years, my father stopped all together to give me full reign of my life. I was lucky compared to Nikolai.
The notion of children was always an iffy subject to me given the triad would always be a part of my life, and I was afraid to bring my own children into such danger. Even if I wasn’t directly involved, my life was always in danger, and I knew my child would be no different.
Sighing softly, I replied to him, “I gave up the idea of having children of my own a long time ago, but maybe one or two with you wouldn’t be too bad down the road. Just as long as you promise to keep them away from the family business. I want our children to live the life they want without any exposure to our fucked-up world of crime. If they choose to partake when they can make such choices then I won’t stop them, but I don’t want any pressure on them to succeed in any of our positions.”
Yet, the thought of children with Nikolai was wonderful as long as he was fine with the terms I set forth. The thought of him being a father brought a warmth to my chest that spread down to my core, making me clench.
