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A peaceful silence fell between us for a while before Nikolai broke it. “What you said before, when I asked if you were a virgin, what did you mean by your answer?”
CHAPTER 14
Nikolai
The edge to my voicewhen I questioned her would have been hard to not pick up. A part of me told me to wait to bring it back up, but I needed to know now or else it’d eat at my mind until I snapped. Another part of me hoped I had misheard, which was highly unlikely.
There was a tense silence from her as she played with my fingers on the hand that held hers. “The last guy I was with...”
Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see her opening her mouth and closing it, struggling to get the rest of her story out. It didn’t take a genius to piece things together though. “Hey, you don’t have to finish it if you don’t want to, darling. I’m sorry for bringing it back up this soon.” She started to snap at the band around her wrist again too, a clear indicator of her extreme discomfort.
My grip on the steering wheel tightened as I felt my anger rise. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Just the thought of anyone touching a woman without their permission was enough to get the anger rushing through my blood. So, the fact someone forced themselves onto Angel sent a new kind of anger through me. This rage, I hadn’t felt anything close to it since my parents and sister.
“I’m sorry. I want to tell you, but I can’t bring myself to right now. It’s too painful.” The crack in her voice, though subtle, didn’t escape me.
Glancing over at her, I shook my hand free of hers and moved it to the top of her head, petting her softly. “It’s okaylisichka, you’ve told me more than enough. You did good.” She didn’t shut down, so that was some progress. “Never apologize for that or anything that is not your fault.”
“But it was my fault, I should have been more careful.” Her sad whimper clawed at my heart.
“No, it’s not your fault, something like that is never your fault. If I ever catch you thinking otherwise, I will bend you over my knee where we stand. There are things that unfortunately are out of our control, so never apologize for that.” It wasn’t a threat, I would punish her for such thoughts, and I intend on keeping to it.
Taking a few deep breaths, I calmed myself back down, easing my grip on the steering wheel before I broke it. “ I need you to understand that what I will do is for the benefit of us both. I would never harm you nor do anything beyond what you are comfortable with, darling. I may drag you around like a ragdoll, fuck you brutally within inches of your life, give you a firm hand when I see necessary and when you need it, but I would never harm you or go beyond your limits. I need you to understand that Angel, alright? Understand, and trust me.”
Reaching down, I picked her hand back up and brought the back of it to my lips, placing a long and gentle kiss against it. I wanted to throw her in the back seat and show her how much I would cherish her. Kiss and touch every inch of her body to replace all the bad memories with good ones of us.
“As insane as it sounds, I do. I shouldn’t because I still barely know you besides what I’ve dug up, but strangely, I feel safe around you. I probably am insane to be feeling safe around a ruthless killer.” Her lighthearted chuckle brought a smile to my own face.
Chuckling softly, I held her hand against the stubble of my chin as I spoke, “Are any of us sane? And I am only a ruthless killer to those that deserve it. Gone are those days of the savage wolves of the Volkov Bratva. My brothers and I are not my father, nor will we ever be.” Thinking about my father made my rage boil again.
“Tell me more about your family, Kolya.” She sounded so pure and curious.
“My parents and sister are gone, so it’s just me and my brothers left. We immigrated to the U.S. from Russia when I was fourteen and have remained here in Nespin ever since.” I was being vague, not wanting to go into detail yet as I could feel my rage building from digging up the past.
The only thing keeping me grounded right now was Angel. Having her hand against my face like this let me inhale her scent so easily. The crispness of her intoxicating scent was enough to cut through the anger and keep my mind present.
“You’re upset, you don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.” Her soft voice continued to work away the fog that threatened to cloud me.
