AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I couldn’t imagine putting up with six children; I had to praise my mother for being able to do so. I already wanted to rip Lev’s head off whenever he’d get into a tuff with one of us. I can’t imagine having all six kids having a go at each other and trying to sort out that mess. How my mother didn’t chuck half of us out a window was beyond my comprehension.
Back to the situation at hand though, “Do you want or need me to get you anything? Any medication or food?” We could talk about children when we weren’t on the bathroom floor.
“Maybe just some food to settle my stomach. Can you have Anna make a light breakfast? I’ll be down in a second, just need to wash up.” She tried to assure me with a smile, but I could tell she wasn’t for it right now.
“I’ll wait for you outside, I don’t want to leave you up here alone like this.” Last thing I wanted was to find her passed out on the bathroom floor.
With a smile, she hugged me tightly for a few seconds before urging me out of the bathroom.
Thankfully, the two of us made it down and through breakfast just fine, and Angel did start to look a little better after she got some food in her. But I couldn’t help but fret over her still because she was still sluggish and sickly pale. Before I could bring up the issue again—and try to talk her into seeing the doctor again—her phone went off with some grim news.
CHAPTER 39
Angel
Idon’t like playingDeath. Having a person’s life in my own hands was too much responsibility that I didn’t want to have on my conscience. That’s another big reason why I don’t kill unless necessary. My guilty mind wouldn’t be able to handle it all in the end.
“Angel.” Even Nikolai’s comforting hand on my shoulder felt like a ton of bricks dragging me down because it was a stark reminder of the situation presented to me. I couldn’t find any comfort in his touch right now; it kept me from escaping the realm of reality.
The doctor’s voice sounded like a distant echo in the wind even though he was a mere foot from me. But my mind drifted too far out, wanting to shut down and hope for some magical reset button to be pressed. “I know this is a very difficult decision, and I am truly sorry that I have to put such a burden on you.”
Just when I thought I started to recover from the trauma with my ex, a bomb explodes in my face.
“Angel, would you like me to go through the typical protocol with you? Or what would you like?” The doctor’s question barely registered in my mind as I busied myself with focusing on my vegetative father before me.
“I would like to be left alone, please. I know how the conversation goes.” I’ve been in many of these situations to know all to be said and laid out. I just never thought I’d be on the receiving end of one, ever. I didn’t want to hear everything from the doctor, to have a stern reminder.
“I understand. You know where and how to reach me once you’ve made your decision, Angel.” It wasn’t typical for the provider to just leave so easily, but the provider knew me well after working with me for a long while. “I am sorry. I really wish things would have turned out differently.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You did what you could. You’re not God, you can’t perform miracles, none of us can.” At the end of the day, we’re only human. No matter how much anger and sadness I felt, I couldn’t take it out on the poor doctor who had no control over the situation.
I couldn’t hold it against the doctor for not being able to save my father, not when he did try his very best. Nature and the human body couldn’t be controlled. By the books, everything was done to a tee, but there was only so much we could do by our hands. It wasn’t the doctor’s fault my father tanked out of nowhere after we had weaned him off the drugs.
“Do you want to have a moment alone, love?”
Nikolai’s question brought a wave of panic. My eyes bounced between him and my still father as I struggled with what I wanted in the moment. Did I want to be alone? Have a few precious moments with my father, try to fully process everything and prepare myself for the inevitable. But I didn’t want to truly be alone.
