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It was one of those confusing yes/no moments I hated. I didn’t want to have Nikolai stick around just to see me break down when he could be using his time elsewhere. On the other hand, I wanted him to be there to support me as my husband, especially since Greg couldn’t be here right now.
I don’t know if he was a mind reader or good at reading me or maybe he sensed the turmoil within me, but he came up with a great solution. “I’ll leave you for a few, get you something to drink, give you a moment with your father and all, then I’ll be back and stay if you want me to. Alright, darling?” His voice was low when he spoke with his lips softly pressed against my temple, his arm still around my shoulder while his hand gingerly squeezed.
Unable to find the strength to reply properly, all I could manage was a small nod of my head, leaning into him a little before sitting myself down at the edge of my father’s hospital bed.
I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to my father, only managing to sob silently as I held his limp hand. It wasn’t going to be long until he would be laying in a wooden box six-feet under, and I would be the one who put him there.
“I am so sorryba. I swear, I’ll make this all right.” My stepmother wasn’t going to have the last word. I’ll ruin everything for her, make her wish I’d grant her the same sweet mercy of death that would take my father.
This was fucking bullshit.
I knew life wasn’t fair, that not everything sailed smoothly, but still. Things were supposed to look up after he was weaned off the medications which kept him in a coma. He wasn’t supposed to tank. He wasn’t supposed to be on life support. I wasn’t supposed to have to decide whether or not the plug should be pulled.
In the perfect life he’d be awake, recover fully, enjoy his retirement with his grandkids.
But life wasn’t perfect.
Maybe karma was finally catching up to me.
“Darling?”
I was so swallowed up in my sorrow I didn’t notice him fully until I felt his touch on my cheek, his thumb wiping away at the tears that were staining my cheek.
“It’s not fair.” My voice was broken as I struggled to hold my tears back. “He should be fine, old and fine and awake, not comatose and brain dead in a bed.”
Was my father a saint? No, but he tried his best to be a good man, and he was a good man—for a mafia leader. Either way, he didn’t deserve to be poisoned like this and pass away without a fighting chance. It wasn’t fair. I wouldn’t be so strung up if he had passed away from natural causes or was shot by some enemy, but to have his fate met by the hands of my stepmother through a dirty tactic of poisoning was something I couldn’t accept.
Sighing, I wrapped my arms around Nikolai’s waist and buried my face into the bend of his neck. “I can’t do it. I know what’s needed, but I can’t do it. It feels so wrong when it’s not.” The decision was a logical one. A quick scribble on a line, and it’d all be over. I’ve only signed my name on an infinite amount of documents at this point, so what’s one more? It should be as simple and mundane like always—a quick flick of my wrist.
“It’s your father, baby, nothing about it is easy or simple. Just because something is needed doesn’t mean that it’ll be easy. I understand it’s not easy, and I don’t envy you one bit.” Well, at least he’s not being an asshole about this whole thing. “Just take your time to come to terms with everything.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with it. I mean, I’m basically killing my dad, or at the very least giving permission to. And if I stall on it then everyone will be on my ass, and my father would just be suffering in silence.” It was a lose-lose situation for me. Keeping my dad alive meant prolonging his suffering and my delusions which would only worsen with time. Not to mention everyone would be one my ass for being an evil bitch for keeping a vegetative person alive for no reason other than my own selfish reasons.
On the other hand, if I pulled the plug, everyone would question why I’d make such a decision, how I should have waited for hope he would recover. But, I knew there was no way he would recover. No one comes back from being brain dead. If he did come back by some God given miracle then he would never fully recover or ever be the same.
Sighing heavily, I ran a hand through my hair frustratedly. “I need to contact the lawyer. I need some air and time away from this room right now.” I would wallow in my own head the longer I sat around, and my head was not in a good space right now.
I wanted to go back to the comfort of home, but Nikolai wouldn’t let me. I might have complained a bit initially, but after he forced me to the restaurant and made me eat, it was clear it was a needed thing. Even if I didn’t have much of an appetite, the quick little impromptu lunch date with my handsome husband was very much needed and appreciated.
Unfortunately, the blip of bliss didn’t keep the storm at bay.
We weren’t even home for a full five minutes before there was a pounding at the door. “Ðù má!” I cursed under my breath when I saw who it was on the security screen.
I had hoped for some more time before dealing with my wicked witch of a stepmother. Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep her from knowing about my father’s status because she was his spouse and my father never filed the paper to bar her from such privileges. Granted, I probably could pull some strings, bribe a few people, and get things settled how I wanted, but that was too much at this point.
I wasn’t worried about my stepmother pulling something over my head regarding my father’s health decisions after dabbling in some rather very illegal business to override her power of attorney as my father’s medical proxy. So, unless she planned and wanted to pull more illegal shit behind my back, there was no way she would gain control again. Of course, it didn’t stop her from being a total witch to me about it all.
Before I could tell the housekeeper to not open the door, it was thrown open from the other side. With no respect, my stepmother barged her way in with an angry scowl on her face. “Why didn’t you pull the plug?! He’s already dead! It’s sick that you are keeping him just so you stay in charge!”
Keeping a stern expression, I narrowed my eyes at her. “Wow at least make up a believable reason. You and I both know that I stand to inherit nearly all of his assets and estate in the event of his passing. I don’t see why any of this concerns you, so turn around and put yourself right back out that door before I order the guards to throw you out.” I was not in the mood to deal with her right now. Yes, I was curious as to why she was here because I couldn’t think of a good reason for her presence currently. But I really wasn't in the mood.
Then the kicker came. With a smirk, my stepmother pulled out some papers out of her satchel and practically threw it at my feet. She didn’t have to say it, but I could see her triumphant expression clear as day: read it and weep.
Refusing to bend down to pick up the papers, I glanced down quickly to skim over the strewn out pages. “I am not going to have you disrespect me like that in my own home. You can either pick those papers up and hand them to me like a proper adult, or leave.” They were some legal documents, recent legal documents. Although, something about them felt and seemed off.
“You wouldn’t even have this home if it weren’t for me.” She seethed back, holding her nose up high.
“Sorry, I don’t recall seeing your name on the deed or anything about you giving me permission to live here inmyhusband’s house. Now, like I said, either talk to me like a grown adult, or leave before I have you thrown out.” I’m really tempted to go with the latter right now.
