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“You are not, and I could have thought of a condom, but I didn’t,” he said. “I’m the idiot.”
“I guess we’re just two dummies,” she cried into his check. “How will we be able to raise a baby?”
“We’ll manage,” he assured.
She stood back from him, wiping her eyes. “You want to have this baby with me?” she asked.
“Yep, and I want us to be a family,” he said. He was being honest too. He had never given much thought to being a father or even having a family, but the thought of Amelia and him raising this baby together felt right.
“You do?” she squeaked.
“Yes,” he said, “I do. I mean, the thought of having this baby scares the hell out of me, but I think that I’m ready. I want to try to be a good dad to him or her.”
“I think you’ll be a great dad,” she assured. He had his doubts, but he was happy to hear that she thought so much of him.
“And you’ll be a fantastic mother,” he said. She wrapped her arms around him, sobbing into his chest again. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked.
“No, you said everything right. I just can’t stop crying,” she sobbed.
“How about I run you a bath and you can have a good cry while I make us some dinner?” he asked. “Then, we can talk some more about the baby, if you’re up for it.”
“Thank you, Spider,” she whispered.
“You never have to thank me, honey,” he said. He loved taking care of her. It had started out as a job and had now because an act of love. He had fallen in love with her and there was no way that he was going to ever let the Ghosts or anyone else touch her or his kid again. She was his to protect and now, that held doubly true.
* * *
Spider woke early that morning, his phone buzzing like crazy on the nightstand next to him. The number was listed as “Private,” and he knew that it had to be work. The CIA’s calls always came in that way because they were usually made from a burner phone so that it couldn’t be traced. The last thing he wanted to do was to answer a call from his boss at the CIA, but he knew that it had to be important if he was calling this early in the morning. What he hadn’t expected was to hear Hangman’s voice on the other end of the call.
After his initial shock wore off, Spider got down to the matter at hand and asked Hangman what he wanted. His answer was simple—he wanted him. Hangman made him an offer that he was having trouble refusing—his life for Amelia’s. He told Spider to meet him in the back ally at Savage Hell and to come alone. If he didn’t, Hangman promised to find Amelia and make her death slow and painful. Spider believed him too. Once he turned himself over to the Ghosts, Amelia would be free to live her life, free from danger, and that was what he wanted for her. She was going to have his baby and living on the run was no life for a newborn or a new mother. He hated accepting Hangman’s offer, but he knew that it was the only way for him to give Amelia the life that she deserved. She and his child would be able to move on, without him, and find a new life together.
He told Hangman that he’d be there tonight at six and ended the call. Now, all he had to do was find a way to leave the house without breaking down and telling Amelia about his deal with the devil, because he was sure that she’d try to stop him, and he couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t keep living on the run, not with a baby on the way.
Spider knew that it was only a matter of time before the Ghosts caught up to him and Amelia. He couldn’t let that happen and giving himself up was the only way to keep her safe. He just needed to come up with a good excuse to leave the safehouse and make Amelia stay there. She’d be safe at the house until he could arrange for Savage to pick her up. Once he was out of her life, she’d be safe again. Leaving her was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever done, but he had to. If not for her, then for the sake of the child that they had created together. His kid was going to grow up without a father, and that was something that he hated, but there was no other way. Besides, he grew up without a dad and he had turned out okay. The one thing he was certain of was that Amelia was going to be the best mom on the planet and his kid was going to grow up surrounded by love.
“Hey, I have to run into the office,” he lied, finding Amelia in the kitchen.
“Why?” she asked, tossing her towel to the counter. He could tell by the way that she looked straight through him that she wasn’t buying his lie.
“They have a lead on the Ghosts, and I have to identify a few guys. I’m the only one who’s ever seen Butch, and they want him in the building before going in. Plus, they have some intel that they need me to look over.”
“And none of this can wait?” she asked.
“Um, no,” he said. “If you were still sitting in a cage, would you want me to wait?” He wasn’t playing fairly, but he had no other way to get out of there without her demanding to go with him.
“No, I wouldn’t want you to wait. You of all people know what kind of hell I was put through.” Amelia sighed and he felt like he was holding his breath waiting for her to give him her blessing to leave. “How long will you be gone?” she asked. “Can you be home for dinner? I’m making your favorite pasta.”
“Yes,” he lied, “I’ll be home for dinner.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, trying not to give away the fact that he was probably kissing her for the very last time, but he was. He knew that returning from the fool’s errand probably wasn’t going to happen. He held her in his arms for just a few extra seconds and kissed her just a little bit longer, hoping that her face would be the only thing on his mind during his last minutes on Earth, because that was the only way that this was all going to end. Hangman was going to kill him and there was no way he’d back down now. Not when he had the opportunity to save both Amelia and their unborn child.
“Love you,” he said, releasing her from his grip.
“Love you too,” she breathed. “Be safe.” He nodded and grabbed his keys and wallet from the kitchen counter, not bothering to look back at Amelia. One last look at her would be his undoing and he needed to keep up his nerve to walk out of the house and leave her behind—no matter how much it broke his damn heart.
* * *
Spider knew that if he was going to turn himself over to the Ghosts, he was going to have to involve Savage. He needed some backup for Amelia. He wanted to make sure that she was okay after he was gone and that she and the baby would be taken care of. He couldn’t think of anyone better than Savage to make sure that happened for his girl.
He pulled his cell phone from his jacket and punched in Savage’s number. He could hear the music in the background after Savage answered and Spider knew that he had caught him at the bar. “Hey, man,” Spider said.
