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“We’ll be back,” she called to the tellers. “Shouldn’t be more than an hour.”
They gave us the thumbs up, and I forced a smile at them before slipping out of the main doors. The air was extra dry today, and while usually that was a relief, everything felt suffocating.
“So, you want to tell me what’s going on with you?” Taylor asked, eyeing me as I climbed into the passenger seat of her Tahoe. “I know that you’re off.”
Ugh.
“It’s nothing.”
“Yeah, okay, that definitely means that there’s something wrong. I know you, Hal. I know something is wrong.” She started her car, turning the volume down completely. “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
“Okay…” I glanced out the window as my voice trailed off. “I called things off with Gunner last night. I just… I want someone who can be there for me, and I don’t know if he can. He keeps me on the outside of everything he does, too.”
“Yeah, I get that, but…” She let out a heavy breath. “Are you sure that you can stay away from him? What about Iris?”
“Well, he still doesn’t know that Iris is his… And I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t even know that I should anymore. Does it matter?”
“I think you should really think about that before you do anything either way. Get over the heartbreak, andthenmake your decision. Gunner is probably torn up over it, too, and he might not react in the best way at this point.”
“Yeah,” I leaned against the door, resting the side of my head on my hand. “I don’t know what the answer is. I never thought about itthatmuch when I lived in San Francisco. It just felt like everything was so far removed from here, I don’t know.”
Taylor nodded, her lips pursing. “Just don’t do anything irrational right now. won’t solve anything. You don’t know how Gunner will handle the breakup.”
“But we were never totally together. He hadn’t even made it official.”
“We’re not sixteen anymore, Hal.” Taylor tipped her head back as she laughed. “I know Gunner, and while I’m not a fan of the brute anymore, Iknowhe was more than likely all about you. I haven’t seen the guy with anyone since you—and that’s been what? A fucking decade?”
I swallowed the lump growing in my throat. “I might’ve overreacted yesterday evening.”
Taylor pulled into an empty parking spot outside of the café, putting the car in park. “Oof, okay. In what way? Breaking up with him?”
“Yeah, maybe. I was so mad, because I had a flat late at night on an emergency trip to the store. I… I called Gunner and he didn’t answer. I was going to have to rely on my mom to find someone, but instead Robbie Johnston just happened to drive by and he changed the tire.”
“Aw, that was so nice of him,” Taylor said, giving me a smile. “Isthatwhat changed your mind about Gunner? Having another man actually show up for you?”
I furrowed my brow at her. “Uh, I wouldn’t say that Robbie showed up for me. He just happened to drive by and see me. Gunner would’ve been there had he not broken his phone—it was just the final straw, you know? It felt like a punch to the gut that someone else had to help me—and I know that’s selfish. I just… I don’t know. I want it to be Gunner who comes to my rescue, but he never has.”
Taylor’s expression was sympathetic. “I don’t think it’s ridiculous or selfish to feel that way. I’m like that—I want my man to show up for me. But also, the next time that happens, you can call me. My hubby can come and take care of you. That’s what friends are for.”
“I appreciate it,” I mumbled, staring down at my hands in my lap. “I just don’t know what I’m doing. I feel fucking lost here.”
Taylor reached out and squeezed my forearm. “It’s okay to feel lost sometimes. You’ve been through a lot recently, and you’re adjusting to being back in a town that’s not exactly full of great memories for you. Take some deep breaths and figure out what it is that you want. There’s nothing wrong with taking that time for yourself.”
I nodded as Taylor patted my arm one last time and slid out of her car. She made it all sound so easy, and maybe it would be if I wasn’t so torn between a life with Gunner—whatever that consisted of—and a life without him. I had lived my life without him for so long, and it had felt so empty.
But the life I had started with him felt chaotic.
And tense.
I shook my head as I exited the car and stepped onto the sidewalk, following Taylor into the café. It wasn’tverybusy for it being lunch hour, but that was just the pace of this sleepy town. We took a seat at the back booth, and I made it a point to sit with my back to the door. There was no way I was chancing seeing someone I knew walk in.
Taylor started browsing the menu like she had never eaten there before, and my eyes drifted up to the TV hanging above her head. It was playing the noon news, and while the volume was down, there were captions. I watched for a few moments before becoming bored with the talk of the city. However, just as I went to look away, I saw the Sans Verta town sign flash across the scene.
“Officer Francis Wilden was found murdered early this morning off County Road 115. Law enforcement has not released any more information at this time.”
My jaw dropped at the sight of an SUV pulled off the side of the road, surrounded with crime scene tape and police vehicles. My stomach churned at the sight, knowing the same night that I was out getting stuff for my kid, a cop was being killed…
And then Gunner’s broken phone came to my mind.
