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She didn’t look at me, and kept staring out the window. “There’s not much to tell.” Her voice was hollow, empty. She was probably in shock. Judging by the state of her, whatever had happened had been rough. Really rough. I was proud of her. I didn’t even need to know what had happened, to know that she was strong and capable of so much. She’d endured so much already, and she was surviving and fighting to survive more now than ever. I was proud of her for that.

“This is important. Every detail is important.” I tried to invite her to share. And it was. I needed to know what had happened in the hours she’d left the house. If we had any chance of getting out of this alive, we had to stick together, at least for now. As much as it broke my heart, I knew I'd let her go when the time was right. Once she was safe, if that’s what she wanted, I’d let her go.

“The longer you wait to tell me, the more risk we’re in.” I offered that morsel of truth gently, but she needed to understand the situation we were in. She was most certainly in shock.

“I don’t–” She finally looked over at me, and there was so much hesitation, so much fear as her eyes spoke volumes all on their own. “I don’t even know where to start.” She whispered.

I slowly reached out and rested my hand on her knee, waiting to see if she’d let me. She looked nervous and finally, whether she decided to trust me or decided she was too tired to care, I wasn’t sure, but I felt her relax under my hand. I gently rubbed her knee, a small comfort, and her eyes found mine. I could tell she so desperately wanted things to go back to the way they were.

“Start with where you were.” I continued caressing her leg, and she ever so subtly leaned into it. The fraction of shift in body language sent relief through my entire being. She wasn’t embracing me with open arms, but she wasn’t pushing me away either.

“I was at the gym.” She chewed her lip, her eyes flickering, relieving it all. I nodded, waiting for her to continue.

She softly detailed out what had happened, how she’d narrowly escaped. When she finished, my chest tightened knowing she’d been clever and brave, but mostly she’d been really, really lucky. I’d been lucky too, that I hadn’t lost her.

I didn’t know how I felt about the information I now knew, the fact that, in order to defend herself, she’d had to kill two men. Killing someone, even if your life depended on it, was such a heavy burden for anyone to bear. I wished I could carry the weight of it for her, but I couldn’t. I couldn't spare her from this.

I lost myself in thought for a moment. The way she had talked about killing the second man, I could hear it in the strain of her voice, in the smallness of her body language. It had changed her, and the muscle in my jaw fanned knowing there was no undoing it. There was only moving forward now, doing the best anyone could to cope, to regain her confidence as she moved through the world. I knew it would be a long road to any sort of normalcy for her.

We sat in silence for some time after she finished, my hand still rested against her leg, holding her as closely as I could, the pads of my fingers caressing, soothing her, while I drove. I could tell she was so tired, but she wouldn’t let herself drift off.

Finally, we pulled up in front of the house.

“Where are we?” Emma asked.

“We’re at one of my vacation houses.”

“Won’t they know to look here?”

“No, this address isn’t traceable.” I hummed and got out of the car and walked to her side and opened her door. “Let’s go inside.”

Emma slid out of the car a bit stiffly.

Instinct kicked in and I reached for her. “Can you walk? Are you–?” I still wasn’t entirely sure that she wasn’t injured. But she shook her head and slipped past me, heading for the front door. She waited while I punched in the door code and then I pushed the front door open. I motioned for her to go in first, and I could tell that she was still slightly on edge. She didn’t love the idea of me walking behind her. She wasn’t running from me, but we were far from okay.

“Why didn’t I know you had a house at the beach?” She asked somewhat suspiciously. Another surprise to add to her growing list.

“Because I rarely come here. It’s specifically for situations like these, when I need to lay low for a bit.”

She wrapped her arms around herself protectively. “Mmm.” She hummed, the sound was barely audible, a grunt almost in place of words.

There was an awkwardness between us, a stiffness that I didn’t quite know how to fix.

I set my bag down on the floor and closed the distance between us. I picked Emma up and slid her onto the counter, standing between her legs, trying to be slow and intentional in my movements. “You know I would never intentionally hurt you, right?” My palms rested on her knees, and she didn’t push me away. My eyes searched hers desperately for the hope that she knew that, that she believed she was safe with me.

She whispered in response, “I don’t know what’s real anymore, Mason.” Her arms were still wrapped around herself, and she looked away. “I want to believe you, I do. I just don’t know yet.” She continued, “You’ve kept so many secrets from me.”

I nodded. “Yes, and I’m sorry for that.” I reached up and stroked her cheek with my knuckles. Her breath hitched for a moment and then continued at a steady pace. “I am.” I emphasized.

The only problem was, I had one morebigsecret. I needed to tell her about the chip I’d put in her shoulder, to track her, but I doubted now was the appropriate time for that.

I just wanted to come clean, to share everything with her. I was so sick and tired of there being so many barriers and secrets between us. But I stopped myself from telling her anything more that might upset her. It would be selfish for me to offload the rest of my secrets now. Right now, as she sat in front of me, I was watching the life drain out of her. I was watching her essence fade into a dull flicker.

Somehow, I needed her to trust me, though, to know that she was safe with me. Probably the safest she’d ever be. I needed her tofeelthat safety, to be able to relax into it, to understand I was a wide safety net spread out for her. Even if she didn’t want me anymore, she had to know I’d go to the ends of the earth for her. I’d die for her. To keep her safe, and from enduring even an iota more pain.

She stared past me blankly. I pushed off her knees and went to my bag, pulling my laptop out. “Everything you need to see is right here.” I waved my laptop in the air, an invitation. “We’re going to bring whoever the sick bastard is down. I promise you that.” I hesitated. “When you’re ready, I could really use your help with this.” I gripped the back of my neck, unsure if I should even be asking her to think about work right now. Maybe it was just the distraction she needed, though.

“Okay.” She nodded before sliding off the counter and going to sit on the couch. “I’ll look at it later.”

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