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It’s okay to fail, as long as you get up and try again.
‘Hey, Cass.’ I clear my suddenly dry throat. ‘Why’d you dye your hair?’
She regards me as if I just started blurting Latin. ‘It’s been like this since Wednesday.’
I know that. I wanted to enquire about it then, but I didn’t feel we were on talking terms.
And I’m glad I didn’t, because now I can use it as an icebreaker.
Cassie had been building up the courage to dye her hair blue for a while, so there must be a reason why she’s referred back to brown.
Thankfully, when Cassie seems disinclined to elaborate, Demi butts in.
‘Apparently it went against the school’s code of conduct,’ she supplies.
‘You’d think because of my outstanding grades Mr. Benjamin would show some leniency,’ Cassie grumbles. ‘Nope. But it’s okay for Mrs. Spotswallower to literally pick her spots and eat them. I even told him about that,’ she adds.
‘You did not!’ Demi falls back into the sofa and laughs. ‘Did you actually?’
Cassie shows the hint of a smile. ‘Yeah. You should’ve seen his face. Oh my God, what if he calls her up on it?’
Demi laughs harder.
I can’t help but smile, but the conversation is veering away from me. I need to include myself.
I lick my lips. ‘You know,’ I say over them, ‘I thought you were bolder than that, Cass. The Cassie I knew would have dyed her hair an even brighter colour.’
She glares at me. ‘Yeah, well, people change, Frankie.’
‘We should do it.’
‘Do what?’ says Demi.
‘We should dye our hair.’
‘We?’ Cassie repeats.
‘The more of us, the better.’
Cassie stares at me for a long moment. I can see she’s tempted. I don’t want to dye my hair—I don’t want to ruin it with harmful chemicals—but if this is what it takes to get back our friendship, then I’ll take it.
I need Cassie. Putting distance between us has made me realise that she isn’t a particularly nice person at all, but I don’t have anyone else. School is quickly becoming a lonely place.
Demi says, ‘I can pop to the shop for dye if you want? The party doesn’t start for another two hours yet.’
‘Okay,’ Cassie says. She grins at me, and I grin back. ‘Let’s do it.’
???
We need to bleach our hair, but we don’t have time to wait four days after the bleaching process. Instead, Demi gets temporary dye. When she returns from the shop, I realise with horror I didn’t even tell her which colour I wanted, but she holds out a box of pink dye.
Which is weird, because that’s exactly what I wanted.
Cassie goes back blue and Demi goes red. We help each other, and we laugh amongst ourselves as we wash the dye from the shower. As they blowdry my hair, I stare at myself in the mirror of Demi’s dressing table.
I have Cassie back, and I’ve acquired a new friend in Demi, but a strange feeling washes over me. A part of me doesn’t want Cassie back. Stepping away from her made me realise how awful she is, and I don’t want a friend like her. She isn’t my person anymore. As I look at my new hair, I wonder at what point I started becoming all the pieces of what everyone else wants me to be.
But the other part of me doesn’t want to be alone. I want to be accepted and admired. I’m scared of facing the world alone.
