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“Like what? Tell me.”
“How will he react to my intimacy issues? Will he understand that sex is a huge step for me? Would he even be willing to wait?”
Her eyebrow arches. “You keep saying he? Is there someone in particular?”
Damnit! Well, no point in dragging it out after I gave myself up. “His name is Theo. I was in a car accident a couple weeks ago and he was the responding firefighter. He stayed with me until the ambulance showed up. He was kind and sweet. Hell, even came to the hospital to check up on me.”
She writes some more things in her notebook. “And you enjoyed his company?”
“Yes, but it was also uncomfortable. The problem is I have not gotten close to anyone since the attack. So, I’m having issues letting people in. He asked me out, but I said no. The thought of him touching me gives me the chills, but in a good way.”
“That’s progress. He should make you happy. Do you smile when he is around?”
“Alot, actually, but I try to hide it. See I don’t want him to think I like him because I don’t want to lead him on. I’m fucked up, damaged goods, and he deserves better.”
“Don’t talk about yourself like that. Like I have told you plenty of times before. If you want to find someone to spend your life with, then you must be willing to give someone a chance. This doesn’t mean you have to sleep with him. You can work up to that.”
“What if he tries to touch me and I punch him? Or start crying? How am I going to explain that? He’s going to think I'm batshit crazy.”
It’s right at this moment a lightbulb goes off. Theo is a wonderful guy who is interested in me. Why am I pushing him away? There is a possibility that I could get hurt in the end, but what if I don’t? He could be the guy I’ve been waiting for who will be patient and understand. If I keep pushing people away I’ll never find someone. Maybe it’s time for me to take the leap of faith.
“This session helped me out tremendously. I’m going to see Theo after this, and tell him that I’d love to go out with him. It’s time for me to bite the bullet.”
I stand up and pull my purse up onto my shoulder. She puts the top of her pen back on and closes her notebook. She doesn’t respond, just looks at me.
“I’d like to schedule a session for next week. Don’t you think it would be helpful to discuss this further?”
“Yes, that would be wonderful. I’ve got to get to class now. See you next week!”
As I walk out of her office, a smile widens on my face and for the first time in a while, I’m excited to go talk to a man about a date.
12
THEO
My car screeches to a halt as some teenager cuts me off to get my parking spot.Asshole. This is the last lot by the building, so I curse under my breath and take off to the next one. I’m not against exercise, but some of us have things to do after class. An extra ten minute walk isn’t exactly what I need today. My dad is still invading my thoughts, and quite honestly, he has no business. I do not want to see him, ever!
The far parking lot has some spaces left and I slide into one of the front spots before anyone else can take it. That dickhead better not have made me late. I grab my backpack and then shut the door.
“Hey, stranger.”
I turn around and Felicity is standing there in a pair of tight blue jeans and plain white t-shirt. A girl after my own heart. “Oh, hey. Couldn’t find a spot closer either, huh?”
She shakes her head and begins to walk beside me. I’m not sure what to say, so I just start rambling about the weather and climate change.
“Is that really what you want to talk about?” she stops, her thumbs holding onto the straps of her backpack.
“Uh - you’ve been clear that you don’t want to date me, so don’t friends talk about the weather?” I laugh.
She sighs. “Actually, I’ve been thinking. When you asked me out, I had just suffered a tremendous loss, and was overwhelmed. If you still want to, I’d love to go out with you sometime.”
I do a quick double take. “Wait, seriously? Are you joking because if you are, it’s not funny.”
She starts walking again. “Nope. Dead serious. So, would you like to go on a date with me, Theo?”
My throat dries and I can’t believe she has changed her mind. Never in a million years did I think that would happen. “I’m free tonight.”
“Me too. Perfect.”
