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No, I’d made my bed with Beck, and I was going to lie in it tonight. Platonically. Without pushing any boundaries.
Even if it killed me.
Beckett was quiet on the drive home and we’d nearly made it to the trailer before I felt the need to break the silence. “I thought tonight went well.”
“Did it?”
“No one brought up Vegas. I call that a win.”
“Yeah, it would be, except…”
I looked over as I braked for a stoplight to see Beckett hesitating, bottom lip pinched between his teeth. Uh-oh. I knew that expression.
“Except what? Spill it.”
He sighed. “Laurie knows about us.”
“The fuck he does.”
“He told me.”
While I drove the rest of the way home, head spinning, Beckett told me about the conversation he’d had with Laurie in the bathroom. He was calmer about it than I had expected.
“He’s not going to tell anyone,” Beck said.
“Even Tucker?”
“Well, I don’t know,” he admitted. “But you know Tucker. He won’t spread rumors.”
I nodded. Tucker was as steadfast and loyal as they came.
“But, Wes, you know what this means?”
“What?”
“If Laurie saw through us so easily, then wereallycan’t risk letting anything else happen.” He licked his lips. “We’re going to be in the same bed, but…”
“I know,” I said. “I wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want.”
“That’s the problem, Wes. It’s not about what either of us want.”
I knew he saw it that way. The risks outweighed the rewards in his mind. I just wasn’t sure I agreed, probably because I’d never been great at denying myself. I had practically nonexistent willpower. But if this was what Beck wanted, I’d rather chew my damn arm off than do wrong by him.
My jaw was tight, a muscle twitching with the arguments that wanted to spill out. The protests and pleas that we were two grown men who should be free to do what we wanted. But I ground out the words I knew I needed to say.
“I understand.”
Beckett exhaled, as if he’d been holding his breath. “Good. Thanks. We have to get past this, and that won’t happen if we keep…”
“Yeah.”
He opened his door and slid out of the seat. There was nothing left to do but face the music. I followed him inside. Andi was in the kitchen, hunched over the breakfast bar—which served as our only table—while she ate a salad.
“Hey, you! How did trivia go?”
“Good,” I said. “We won.”
“Awesome. And uh…did you hear…”
