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“Probably on both,” she whispered.
He straightened and pulled in a breath. “Well now, I hate that … But I’ll do whatever you need, love. Anything.” He studied her deeply, kissed her hand again and repeated, “Anything.”
Madeline had no idea what to say. He appeared fully invested in her. This was all on her to figure out where she stood next to Anne and how to commit to marriage and love without letting the jealousy of his wife and first love fester in her heart.
“Goodnight,” she managed.
“Night.” He released her hand and eased out the door. She shut it behind him.
He’d do anything, but he couldn’t give her his whole heart. It wasn’t his fault, but how could she reconcile her need to fully love him with his only choice—to split his heart?
ChapterTen
Madeline had a very restless night.She prayed to know how to drop all the envious and selfish feelings. She wanted to love Nolan with all her heart. It wasn’t his fault that his wife had been amazing and perfect, whereas Madeline’s husband had been a flighty quitter who wasn’t committed to her or Chad.
Finally, at four a.m., she got sick of thrashing and turning in bed. She slipped out and dressed in Lady Fit workout gear. Thinking of her daughter-in-law made her smile with temporary relief from the stress she was feeling. She wanted to run the trail that circled the lake bordering the village of Greenville. Maybe she’d still hike with Nolan at six, or maybe she’d wear herself out, take a bath, and go back to sleep. She could even do the spa therapies upstairs by herself.
Madeline wasn’t upset with him; she simply needed time to wrap her mind around sharing Nolan’s heart. She wanted to be a team, longed to be married to him and nurture and love all of his children. Kiera especially seemed to need and adore her.
Tying her shoes, she walked out of her suite, down the hallway, and down the stairs. Two guards were coming up the stairs. Captain Levi and Lieutenant Mason Henson. These two were her favorites. She found herself wondering if Levi had a crush on darling Faith. Hmm. Matchmaking might be fun. She’d have to chat with Chad and Hope about that.
“Ms. Prescott,” Levi greeted her, dipping his head. “Are you all right?”
“Oh yes. I’m simply going on a quick run before my hike with the king.”
They exchanged a look. “We’ll follow you. Will you give us a moment to change so we can keep up?” Levi asked.
“No, please.” She held up a hand. Nolan had asked if she’d missed her freedom this past month. She truly hadn’t, but she needed some space right now. “I’m going to run the trail around the lake. The sun will be up before long. I’m not in any danger, and I just … need to be alone.”
Levi grimaced. “But you’re in our care, staying here at the castle.”
“I’m not a royal,” she countered.
Would she ever be? Not if she couldn’t wrap her mind around Nolan’s first love and happy marriage and not give in to jealousy and comparisons.
“I promise I’ll stay on the trail. It’s a six-mile loop. I’ll start on the east side of the lake.” She looked at her watch. Four-thirty. “If I’m not back by five-forty-five, you can drive one of those side-by-sides and come find me.” She begged him with her gaze. She wasn’t in any danger, and she needed to be alone and process and enjoy the beauty of nature while she conferred with heaven above.
Levi looked at the lieutenant, who shrugged. “I don’t like it, but who am I to boss around a member of parliament?”
Madeline smiled. “And that is why you are one of my favorites, Lieutenant Henson.”
The young man grinned at her, his blue eyes sparkling. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“At five-fifteen we will come check on you,” Levi said. “If you’re all right and still want to be alone, we’ll give you some space.”
She planted her hands on her hips. “Do you know how many runs I’ve done by myself throughout the years with nobody following me or watching me?”
His dark eyes sparkled at her. “Not when you’re in my care. If something happened to you, the king and Major Chad would take turns filleting me.”
Madeline rolled her eyes, but she didn’t want him to get in trouble. “Nothing will happen to me.”
“We’ll see you at five-fifteen.” Levi saluted her.
“You used to be one of my favorites.”
He chuckled. “I’d rather keep you safe than be on a favorites list.”
“Thank you.” She forced a smile and lifted a hand. It would be fine for them to come check on her halfway through the loop. She didn’t want to cause them any trouble.
