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“I’ve got word they’re retreating,” Ryan says. “They want a truce. They’re demanding one hundred grand.”
“They were going to make a hundred times that pushing their crap,” I say, staring down at my hands, my knuckles bloodied and cut from two days of fierce fighting.
“It’s a consolation,” Ryan replies. “If they leave without nothing…”
“It wounds their pride. I get it. Fine. Pay them, but if they ever come back—”
“They won’t,” Ryan says. “My contact wouldn’t come outright and say it, but you’ve put the fear of God in them, Kai. They’ve started talking about you almost like you’re some mythical figure.”
“I did what had to be done,” I grunt, the hospital quiet, the window dark, a few stars visible. “This club saved me. It’s only right I returned the favor.”
“You’ve been going at it like a demon.”
“Maybe a demon’s what it takes,” I growl. “Look what they did to you. Shot you in front of civilians and put innocent people in danger. Nobody would say they don’t deserve it.”
“I agree with that.” Ryan leans forward, seeming more like his old self. “Butyou,how are you doing? It can’t be easy. You once told me God played a trick on you, making you so good at violence because you’ve never enjoyed it. Even during boxing, you’d get that look in your eye, the rage. Not just rage at what happened to you, but hell, man, rage at the fact you had to throw another punch. Now you’ve had to handle this alone.”
“I’ve had Jimmy and the others.”
“But the burden of doing what had to be done. Making the hard choices.”
He’s looking at me in a way that makes me suspicious. I’m not sure of what exactly, but the feeling is there. It’s as if he’s peering deep into my soul, seeing memories from the road trip a week ago, not even, and yet it feels like an age. It feels like I’ve lived ten goddamn lifetimes since then. That’s what happens when I don’t touch and taste my woman. Hold her.
“We couldn’t let them take our town, our county,” I snarl. “Theyput you in the hospital. They’re lucky that all I took was kneecaps.”
“I’m not talking about that. I’m thinking of a different hard choice.”
Ryan leans forward, his shoulders tight in the hospital gown. He’s always been a fierce bastard but looks downright demonic now. That’s what he called me, a demon, but it applies to him even more.
“I’m going to ask you something, and I need the truth, Kai. We don’t lie to each other. That’s not something we do. It’s not something we’ve ever done.”
I swallow, sitting upright. I’ve got to face this like a man, look it bravely in the face, and know that whatever happens, I’ll have to accept the consequences, even if it means letting Kay go.
No, no, no.
A thousand bikes roar in my mind, far fiercer than the bike she sat on in that prairie before everything shattered. Just the shining golden grasslands surrounded us, pleasure between us, hunger, and certainty.
“Ask me,” I tell him.
“If you had to choose between your relationship with Kayla and your friendship with me, which would you choose?”
Suddenly, I stand up. I don’t even mean to. The question is too blunt, too violent. It’s like he’s just punched me in the mouth with it. I walk to the window, then turn when I hear the door open behind me.
“Have you asked him yet?” Kay says with tears in her eyes.
I almost melt at the sight of her. She’s wearing those damn denim overalls, just like when this started, her hair tied up with a few messy strands here and there. Her cheeks are flushed, but not with lust, with pain.
“You told him,” I say.
“I had to.” She rubs a tear from her cheek in classic Kay fashion, like she’s pissed at herself for the emotion. “I couldn’t lie to him anymore.”
“I told her to wait, Kai,” Ryan says. “I knew you had to focus on this mess. She wanted to tell you I knew.”
“And this is your question,” I growl. I clench my hands into fists, feeling the fire and the rage from the past couple of days come back, licking at me like flames in a drug-filled warehouse. “You’re going to make me choose.”
“I have to know,” Ryan says. “You’ve never lied to me, not before this. Do you want to know what I mean when I say choose?”
I return to the bedside and force myself to sit. My body is trying to burst into action as if it thinks there’s another battle to fight. “Sure.”
