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So I stormed outside, into the courtyard, without furs or gloves, and screamed my impotence and anger and the memory of my grandmother's admissions into the wind, knowing it would rip the sound right off my lips into the void of the twilight that was our world right now.
I wasn't sure how long I stood in the cold, it could have been minutes or hours, but strong hands put a fur coat around my shoulders before they pulled me into a warm chest. "Czira, you'll freeze to death, come inside."
"I can't, Brogan." I clung to him, shaking.
He pulled me up and carried me back into the stables, not to where the horses were kept but to where most of the livestock was stabled.
"What happened?"
Red-hot shame enveloped me, and I pressed my face into his chest. "Brogan, I remembered something, something terrible," I confessed.
He pulled me down into the fresh hay, keeping me on his lap and warm embrace, forcing my face up. "What is it czira?"
His blue eyes radiated such love, a sob made its way up my throat and threatened to choke me. How could I tell him that we were all doomed? That no matter how bravely he and his warriors fought, they were all destined to die in this senseless war.
Not for a second did I contemplate asking him to run, because I already knew that this wouldn't be an option for my proud warlord. He would never run.
You have to convince him, a voice inside me whispered.It's the only way.
Run where though? There was nowhere to run, not from this. If the humans were here to take Thyre over, they would find us, wherever we hid. They had machines Brogan had probably never even heard of.
"Alahna," he probed.
"I remembered something my grandma told me when I was very young, about the humans and their weapons." I sighed. "Like I told you, my great-great-grandpa was a farmer, but I forgot that my great-great-grandma was a soldier. I wasn't supposed to know, but one night I overheard my grandma and mom whisper. My mom was insistent that my grandma should never tell me, and I got curious."
I flinched at the memory, suddenly so clear as if it had happened yesterday. "My grandma was so proud of her grandma. Or great-grandma or whatever." I smiled, wishing like always that I could have met her. "And one day, she told me all about her."
IwishedAlahnawouldhave remembered earlier, but I didn't say anything, she was torn up enough about it.
Some of the things she described sounded hard to believe but made terrible sense with what Uthar had intimated. Like flying mechanical birds that kept track of the enemy's whereabouts sounded like the drones Chrissy alluded to. Spaceships small and large even Uthar had recognized without having had contact with humans.
No matter how much I didn't want to admit to it, as a leader of my people, I had to acknowledge that even the walls of Grymburg would be no match for the kind of bombs coming out of the sky Alahna and Uthar described and I remembered the look of near contempt Chrissy gave the walls of my stronghold when she was first brought here.
Alahna was wrong on some points though. There were places for us to hide. In the mountains and the forests. Their drones might follow us, but a well-aimed arrow would take them out of the sky before they could even come close to us.
"They will bomb the mountains," Alahna objected with tears in her eyes.
"Let them," I soothed her. "The mountains are filled with labyrinths of caves. Unless they are going to level the entire planet, there will always be a place to hide."
For the civilians, my mind added, but I kept my lips sealed. She didn't need the added worry.
Many had tried to take Thyre from us over the course of our history. The humans might be a daunting foe, but they were not invincible. We only needed to find their weakness and exploit it.
For now we were safe. The cold season would keep them on the other side of the Dark Sea, where they would build their foothold into our world.
I contemplated taking Uthar's boats and attacking them now when they were still at their weakest, but that wasn't a decision I could make. This was a decision for our khazar, who would hopefully arrive soon. In the meantime, I would question ourguest, Christina, some more. One way or another, she would give us the details about their weapons. One way or another, she would reveal the humans' weakness. Which I knew they had to have. Everybody had one.
Determined, I carried Alahna back to our chambers, where I drew her a hot bath to warm her up, swallowing my irritation at her having run out into the cold without any protection, because I had done the same many times before when I needed a place to think clearheadedly or vent my frustration. Her body might have been more ill-suited for the weather than mine, but it was up to me to keep her safe even when it was from herself.
"I'm sorry, Brogan," she said as some color returned to her pale cheeks.
"There is no reason to be," I assured her. "Sometimes we're just not ready to remember things, or to face our greatest fears." I knelt by the tub so we were eye level. "But I will always be here to protect you."
"It's not me I worry about," she confessed and held out her hand.
"I fought more formidable foes, czira. We will prevail." I promised.
Her hand pulled on mine with more strength than her fragile body let on, and I allowed her to pull me into the tub with her. If she needed my body to reassure her we were safe and would be, I was more than willing to do so.
