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“They’re just kids,” Paxton started.
Dmitri made a frustrated noise. “I get that, but it’s not the worst thing in the world to expect them to not act like animals. The fucking raccoons don’t tear the place up this bad most nights.” He rubbed at his face, and then he glanced over at Paxton who was looking at him with a curious expression.
“This is your job, isn’t it? Cleaning this stuff up?”
Dmitri nodded. “Some of it. And it’s not a big deal. It’s not like I can’t do it. But if it wasn’t me, it would be Roman, and there’s no reason to make his job harder, you know?”
“Yeah,” Paxton breathed out. “I was a real dickhead in school. You probably think I’m the biggest asshole.”
At that, Dmitri softened a little, because he knew what it was like to be judged for things you could never take back. “No. I mean, maybe you were—I don’t know. But it’s not like you did this.”
Paxton moved closer and knocked his knee into Dmitri’s. “No, but I am surprised that you don’t hate me after what Owen must have said.”
At that, Dmitri blinked in surprise, because Owen had never mentioned Paxton. “Uh.”
“The whole Archie thing?” Paxton waved his hand. “I mean, I tried to be nice, but Owen totally led him on.”
Dmitri blinked. “Wait…what are you talking about?”
Staring at him a long moment, Paxton shook his head. “He didn’t tell you? Weren’t you two like…a thing?”
“No,” Dmitri said, his voice nearly a whisper. His head was reeling a little from what Paxton was saying—how much it conflicted with everything he’d seen about Owen. “What are you talking about?”
Paxton bit his lip, then shrugged. “I wasn’t super involved. I was working part time at the paper, and I just saw…” He shook his head. “It was nothing.”
Dmitri didn’t think it was nothing, but he also wasn’t sure he wanted Paxton to spill Owen’s secrets. “I’ll talk to him.”
At that, Paxton laughed. “He’ll lie, you know. He was so embarrassed when I caught him flirting. But it doesn’t matter. Archie was kind of a dick, and Owen is a really good guy. I just think he had some shit going on.”
It did very little to soothe the questions Dmitri had burning in his gut, but he wanted to give Paxton the benefit of the doubt. He wanted to believe that someone in this town who was good and kind wanted to be with him. “He had a rough time before he left, but he’s doing better now. We kind of lost touch, but his mom said college is going well.”
Paxton’s eyes softened. “That’s good.”
“Yeah,” Dmitri breathed out. “He deserves to be happy.”
Dragging his bottom lip through his teeth, Paxton eventually smiled. “You’re a really nice guy, you know that? You care way more about other people than most.”
“You make that sound like a bad thing,” Dmitri answered with a shy smile.
Leaning forward, Paxton put his coffee down, then reached for Dmitri, who flinched away. His fingers curled into his palm, and his brows furrowed. “Do I, like, have this wrong? Do you not like me? You’re into guys, right?”
“I’m into guys,” Dmitri said. The anxiety of coming out eclipsed everything else he was feeling, and he closed his eyes against it. “It’s not you. Um. It’s…I’m…” He took a breath and reminded himself that coming out was always hard—that it was always a risk, and the nerves would never go away. But he had to trust himself to withstand bad reactions, and trust others to be open-minded. “I’m asexual.”
Paxton slowly dropped his hand to his lap. “Oh. Okay.”
Dmitri didn’t patronize him by asking if he knew what it meant. Instead, he licked his lips, then turned his gaze to the grey and black ash in the firepit. “I’m not sex-repulsed. I like the idea of kissing and touching. But I never get…you know…hard.”
“Ever?” Paxton asked.
“Mostly never.” Dmitri blew out a puff of air. “I get that it’s a deal-breaker for some people, you know? So, I thought I’d tell you that now.” Before it got serious, before Paxton got ideas. Before he was invested and then got angry and humiliated Dmitri like the person who had come before him.
“Okay,” Paxton said again.
Dmitri turned his head to look at him. “Okay?”
Paxton chuckled softly. “Yeah, okay. I mean, have you had sex? Have you tried it?”
“No,” Dmitri said. “I mean, I’ve…” He made a jerking off gesture with his hand, then blushed furiously and shrugged. “It’s not like I’m broken.”
