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I can’t do more. I don’t know how to do more. I’m pretty fucking sure there isno morein me to give.
Kids?
Fuck.
No, I don’t want ‘em. But they sure as shit don’t want me either. I’d be a shit-tastic father and probably an even worse husband.
I’m a fighter. It’s what I do. It’s what I’m good at. It’s what I know.
Then fight for her.
Shut the fuck up.My inner voice needs to get a life and leave me alone.
The door bangs against the wall when I slam through the waiting room door. Cap jumps to his feet and stalks to me. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and press my lips together, blowing steam out my nose as I fight for control. “She broke up with me.”
“She… Wow.” He’s as shocked as I am.
“I’m moving back to Vegas.” I spot Rowdy coming in from outside. “You and he will have to look out for her. Promise me she’ll be safe.”
Cap clutches my arm, shaking off Rowdy, silently telling him to stay back. “Always. She was mine before she was yours.”
“No, Cap.” My throat tightens, and my chest seizes. “She’s always been mine. Always will be.”
The shake of his head and his deep sigh reflects his disappointment. “I still have hope for you two.”
“Don’t. I can’t give her what she needs.” Or what she wants.
“And what’s that?”
“A heart.” Love. Children. Marriage.
I leave him with his promise to get her home safely—to my house. I have no plans on selling it or living in it again without her. She made those walls a home and my bed a haven. Besides, I’m packing up and moving back to Vegas. I won’t be there.
I’ll be here, in sin city.
Where the rich get richer. The poor get poorer.
And the broken find sanctuary in the lecherous darkness where my Angel can never dwell.
I’ve always known she was meant for heaven, and I was destined for hell. I just didn’t realize I’d have to walk through fire with every step I take away from her. The heat—melting my flesh, thick air—taking my breath, cloudy vision—bringing tears to my eyes, and the pain of that broken organ in my chest as it stills—only ever beating for her.
I saw a glimpse of forever in the eyes of my Angel.
I felt the darkness lift.
My own personal hell turned heavenly when she was in my arms.
But today, the gates of hell opened up to welcome me back.
There’s no room for a devil in her dreams of a family.
No compromise.
No living in the now.
No living with what I have to offer.
