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They nod, but it’s not enough. I take each of them by the hand and make them promise on my unborn baby they won’t tell Gabriel, or anyone else. They all promise and seem more concerned about me than keeping this secret from Gabriel. I let out a relieved breath until I realize Cap hasn’t said a word or made me any such promise.
Stepping to him, he pats my shoulder. “I promise.” Then he walks away, his disappointment trailing behind him.
We leave the guys in the gym, fumbling to clear their heads so they can get back to training. Inside my office, before I sit, I grab my spare toothbrush and toothpaste and brush my teeth, rinsing more times than needed.
When I finish, I plop down on the couch in my office with Rowdy pacing in front of me. “Considering all things, I think that went pretty well.” I leave out my concern for Cap. I know I hurt his feelings. I should have told him. I was afraid of disappointing him. As it turns out, I did it anyway.
“Mm-hmm.” Rowdy’s hands are in his hair, messing up his man bun. Laidback Rowdy is usually the calm one unless he’s seeing red, ready to fight.
“What’s wrong?”
He stops, his eyes locking with mine, sad and full of something I can’t put my finger on. “I like you.”
My brows shoot up. “I like you too.”
He nods. “I think if we decided to, we could even love each other.”
“I already love you, Darkboy. You get me in ways no one else does.”
His megawatt dimpled smile loosens the knot in my gut. “Ditto.” He takes a seat next to me, gripping my hands in his. “But that’s not the kind of love I’m talking about.” He worries his lip while his thumbs run back and forth over the back of my hands. “Marry me, Frankie.” He drops to his knees on the floor before me.
“What—”
“Marry me. I’ll love your baby like it’s my own. We could be good together.” He sweeps his hand across my cheek. His eyes fill with a heat I’ve only seen a few times from him. “Real good, darlin’.”
What he says is probably true. We could make it work, and it might be good. We get along. We click, understanding each other in a deeper way than most. The idea of loving him or being loved by him doesn’t turn me off. Though I’ve put him clearly in the friend zone, I’m not oblivious or unaffected by his charms. I am attracted to him. But could I do that to him? Could I do this to Gabriel without even giving him a chance?
I stand and step around him. “I… I appreciate—”
“Don’t sayno.” He stands, stalking me to the wall. His hand rests above my head as he leans in. “Think about it.” His other hand squeezes my waist, and my breath catches. His eyes land on my parted lips. He’s gone alpha on me, and my ignored libido takes notice, sending alerting shivers down my spine. His eyes slide to my thrumming pulse-point on my neck before he whispers across my skin in the same place, “I could love you so good, Frankie. Make you come in ways you’ve never dreamt of.”
Oh, shit.My pregnancy hormones have my body screaming,yes, please, as my heart cries, wanting to know why it’s not Gabriel here saying these things to me.
Rowdy presses his mouth to my throbbing pulse, licking and sucking gently. I brace my palms against the wall, refusing to give in, refusing to pull him toward me. But when he kisses a trail up my neck to my ear and across my jaw, pausing momentarily to catch my eyes before his mouth covers mine, I lose my battle and sink my fingers into his hair, moaning my approval and begging for more with the press of my body to his.
He’s not the man I love, but the man I love chose not to fight for us.
Delving in deeper, Rowdy’s tongue caresses mine, his arms ensconcing me in his embrace as his hands knead and urge me closer. His moans mix with mine. Urgent and needy hands roam until he slows with tender, light kisses and gentle caresses at my sides. “Yeah, so fucking good, darlin’.”
He pulls back, hands on my hips to keep me on my feet. “Think about it.” He kisses my cheek and leaves me breathing heavily, clutching my belly like I can protect my baby from my confused, racing thoughts of Rowdy’s promises of family amongst Gabriel’s echoed promises of nothing more than sex and shelter.
A love that rocks the universe but has no future?
Or a love that rocks my baby as a surrogate father and could probably make me happy?
Yeah, I’m screwed and confused as hell.
MY EMERGENCY CALL TO LILIANA HASher dropping off Violet with Donovan’s mom and rushing to meet me. Her guys keep Wings Out running without her having to be there full-time since Violet was born. Luckily, I caught her on a day off, but not too early to mess up her mommy-daughter time.
Like a chicken shit, I’m avoiding Cap and Rowdy, leaving early with the excuse my pregnancy grants me. Of course, I don’t actually tell them in person. No, that would make me less of a chicken. I sneak out the back and walk around the building to my car, pull out of the parking lot in blazing glory.Yeah, that won’t get anybody’s attention!Then stop at the corner market to blast a text to each of them with my excuse—the same excuse—knowing Darkboy will probably head home to check on me only to not find me there. I can’t very well tell him I’m not feeling well and leaving work to then meet Lili for an early dinner and girl time.
I hate lying. I make a habit of not doing it. I’ve been lied to enough to last me a lifetime and then some. I’ll make it up to them. I don’t know how… Yet.
As expected, I beat Lili to the new wine bistro. Though I can’t drink, I can appreciate the ambiance. But mostly, I appreciate the secluded rooms they have in the back, sequestered by partitioned walls and sliding doors, reminding me a little of a Japanese Minka-style home, though the walls are not thin like those in a traditional Japanese home. The rooms aren’t overly large, at least not the ones I’ve seen, but big enough for a rounded booth and a sitting area for lounging in privacy.
Leaving Lili’s name up front, I slip into the designated room with a request not to be bothered until she arrives. I sit in the booth, drumming my fingers on the mahogany-topped table, fidgeting with nervous energy. My stomach rumbles, amazingly bold enough to ask for food after its mass exodus only a few hours ago.The nerve!
Giving up on the booth, I try for the couch, then the chair. Determining sitting may not be the best state to force myself into, I opt for pacing from one end of the sectioned-off room to the other. I shake my hands and blow out puffs of air, trying to calm my heart and racing thoughts.
