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Except for Malyr.
Overhead, the winter sun skimmed over the many garlands spanning between the restored walls, the entire sky dotted with ravens. Would the constant arrivals ever end?
As if to answer my question, three ornate carriages rolled in from the main gate, their glistening insignias signaling the arrival of nobility. Human lords and ladies, no doubt. Had Malyr invited them to thedrifas well?
My mind went to Marla’s words. Every perceived wrong was nothing but an essential right in this thing called fate—a statement I’d first shrugged off, now becoming clearer the more I contemplated it.
Without the capture by the Ravens, I would never have learned the truth about this war. Without Malyr’s betrayal, I would not have shifted. Without my true identity, I would never have set out to find my gift, would never have learned of Lady Brisden’s complicated love.
All those perceived wrongs had led me right here. So many people had died to ensure that I could sit on this wall… to do what? Soak up the sun? No, their sacrifices had to account for more.
That took a sacrifice of my own, didn’t it?
My gaze went back to Sebian, my heart aching in my chest. I thought… I thought I knew what I had to do, but… how would that affect us? Could I bond myself to Malyr and still love Sebian? Be with him? Could Malyr accept such a thing, or would the monogamous nature of our kind forbid it? Did I have to give up the man I loved?
I didn’t know.
I didn’t want to know.
I slipped off the wall, shadowcloth wafting around my ankles, forcing my eyes away from Sebian. One pained look on his handsome features, one glare of a tear in his vibrant eyes, one plea from his lips not to do it, one word about a bond bringing an end to our relationship…
My heart couldn’t bear it.
My determination wouldn’t survive it.
I all but sprinted along the balcony and toward the chancery. My strides faltered when I reached the stairs that led down to the bailey, but I pushed on. No, I couldn’t succumb to doubt.
I slipped into the chancery and closed the door, the metallic sweetness of blood still lingering, even though Malyr had stopped coughing crimson two days ago. The Raven prince lay on his back in the center of his nest, wearing black robes, the book clasped between his hands hovering high above his face.
Malyr shifted the tome merely enough for his eyes to brush mine. “Yes?”
I clenched my eyes shut with such force, green and blue specks floated before me. This was the right thing. No! It was a perceived wrong, guiding me along the path of fate to the essential right.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes, my pulse pounding in my ears. “I won’t fight it anymore.”
Malyr arched a brow at the speed of a snail crossing a continent. “I have no idea what you are talking about, but I do know you willmost definitelyfight it.”
My throat narrowed, letting barely any of my panted gasps through, my mind clouding. “The bond… I won’t reject it anymore.”
Flares of uncomfortable heat prickled up along my neck, one for each second he silently stared at me from eyes that held none of the victorious gleam I’d expected. Hells, he didn’t even smirk. Had he not heard me? Had I mumbled? Gods, had Iimaginedsaying it?
I rubbed my clammy hands over the train of my dress and took my deepest breath yet. “I said—”
“I heard what you said.” His eyes disappeared behind the well-worn leather binding of the book once more, the rustling of a page being turned resonating in the otherwise still room. “I will not bond myself to you.”
I swallowed past the restriction in my throat, confusion tangling through me. “Not until you are fully recovered?”
“Not ever.”
Not… ever?
That heat climbed into my earlobes, itching worse than a head full of lice as if— Wait, what had he just said? “What do you mean, you won’t ever bond yourself to me?”
“What could possibly not be clear about my words?” he said with a nonchalance that had my hackles lift. “I decided to relinquish my claim on you.”
“Relinquish your…”
My nostrils flared, the heat that spread across my face morphing to first flares of annoyance, anger even. I hadn’t come here with much of a plan, but if I had, I was certain it would have lookednothinglike this.
