Page 77 of Shadows so Cruel


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Serenity?

I’d once erased that word from my vocabulary, but it now encapsulated my entire being. Nothing scratched, nothing scraped. I simply lay in our nest beside the only thief currently known to exist, my chest not infested with shadows, all gloom lifted from my mind. When was the last time I’d felt this light and carefree? Fourteen years ago? Sixteen? Eighteen?

I couldn’t even say.

Once we returned to Valtaris, I would pluck a flight feather and offer it at the shrine by the Winged Keep. Nothing less would do, given how the goddess had indeed heard my prayers, gifting me my perfect counterpart—the void to my shadows, the light to my darkness. Galantia was everything I always wanted… even if she didn’t fully want me back.

I folded my arm beneath my head, shifting like I had for what felt like hours, unable to sleep with how strangely well I felt. Never again did I want it to be otherwise. Never again did I want to return to that darkness. Now, how to ensure I never again would…?

My heart turned heavy.

I think I knew.

First specks of pink filtered in through the eastern window, but the soft hue did nothing to camouflage the absolute destruction of the room. Shadow ropes, as it turned out, could not hold myanoaley. And so, we’d tied her wrists with shreds of cotton from Sebian’s trousers, her folded hands resting on the easy rise and fall of her chest. Behind her, only two out of twelve shelves had survived, and probably not a single book. Neither the maps nor the furniture had suffered great losses, but the biting scent of smoke might never leave this room.

The muscles around my mouth twitched into something I liked to imagine was a smile. She would undoubtedly drag one deathweaver after another out onto an open field, practicing for hours to steal shadows and wield them at her will. Most likely before breakfast.

Just as my gaze returned to Galantia, it caught with Sebian’s, who smirked at me for long seconds before he finally said, “Maybe we should have water buckets ready next time… just in case.”

A low chuckle rumbled in my chest. “I’ll bring the rope, you bring the armor.”

His eyes shone with jest before his face relaxed into something more serious. “How difficult is it? Sharing your bondmate?”

“It doesn’t matter. I profited off her feelings for you. I can hardly complain if there are some dues to be paid now.” Maybe one day, I would manage to settle the debt. “What aches me is that, right now, under this blanket, I am sure she has her toes wedged beneathyourcalf, not mine. As much as we may share her body, in matters of the heart, there will always be an inequality.”

He held my gaze, a frown forming on his mouth. “Do you remember your very first flight?”

“Of course.”

“It was the best feeling I ever had in my life… nothing compared. Until I broke a fucking rib when my unkindness slammed against the face of the cliff,” he said. “Ever had a broken rib? It’s so excruciating, you can’t even breathe without pain. Once it healed, I wanted to fly again so badly. I didn’t, though, telling everyone that it really wasn’t that great. Because I was terrified of getting myself hurt again.” A long exhale. “What I’m trying to say is that Galantia never knew love. And when it came, it was the best feeling, until it broke her heart. Now she’s scared of getting hurt again.”

My eyes wandered to the broken shelf behind him. “I seem to fail in understanding your point.”

“Without love, you would never have managed to hurt her the way you did in the first place,” he said. “That urge to fly? It doesn’t go away; it’s always there. We just do a great job of telling ourselves it isn’t. That work? Or do I have to spell it out for you?”

I shook my head. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand, but simply couldn’t imagine that Galantia still harbored any warm feelings for me. Limerence and lust? Yes, but that was the bond, not love.

Sebian let out a long exhale. “You need to tell her how you feel, Malyr.”

I’d tried after the bonding, only to realize that my heart wasn’t in the condition to brave her potential response. Her rejection. “Words…”

“What do you think? How many times had someone told herI love youin her past, hmm? My guess is zero. Maybe that nursemaid of hers, but at the end of the day, those people are hired help. Words happen to mean a lot to your little dove.Use them.You know how.”

I shoved the blanket off me, rose, and went hunting for my clothes in this mess of singed book pages spilled about the room. “Her void should trouble her no more. Not for a few days, I would assume.”

“Where are you going?”

“There is something I have to do.” I grabbed the nearest shirt before I slipped into it, along with my discarded breeches. “I won’t be long.”

“You should stay and take care of her,” he said. “You are bonded now, Malyr. You have to do better.”

“And I will.” Starting now, ensuring that I would forever revel in her light, even if it took the occasional darkness to protect it. “Nobody can know she is a thief, aside from those we trust—too much fear and ignorance about it. Do you understand?”

He gave a curt nod. “Whatever keeps her safe.”

I shifted into my unkindness.

We dashed through the flight hole and out into the cold winter morning, spreading our wings. We banked right, circling a castle deep asleep, aside from the few servants setting up for thedrif. Then, we slipped through the gap between two towers, slowing our speed before we drifted through another flight hole and back into the warmth.

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