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Chapter34
Colt
Sullen, I peel the label from my bottle of beer. Becky and I are at the pub, catching up a last time before she and Mason go home. I’m laying off drinking until I’m fully recovered, but one beer to take the edge off what’s going on in my life won’t hurt.
“You keep saying you’re okay, but you obviously aren’t.” Becky chews on her bottom lip as she watches me.
“I’m fine,” I mutter, flicking the peeled label onto the floor.
“Is it … about the girl?”
“The girl?” I look at her, amusement tugging at the corner of my mouth. “You mean Sassy?”
Becky nods. Her face is full of concern, but I see something else flash behind her eyes when I mention Sassy’s name.
“You really don’t like her.” I say. It’s not a question.
Becky opens her mouth to deny it, but then she closes it again. Her eyes slide away from mine.
“Do you blame me?” She asks, staring at her almost untouched glass of wine. “I get a phone call in the middle of the night to tell me bouncers have beaten you half to death. Then I find out it’s because you were trying to steal money from them, all for her.”
I take a long pull from my beer before speaking.
“I know it looks bad,” I start, and Becky lets out a sharp laugh.
“It looks like you’re ready to give up everything for this girl. Is she worth it?” She interrupts me.
“Of course she’s worth it,” I answer without hesitation. “But it’s not my choice what happens, anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
I sit back in my seat and sigh. “It’s over. I don’t know what happened, but it’s like someone flicked a switch on her and she’s no longer interested in me.”
“Oh,” Becky looks down at her wine again. We sit in silence for a few minutes.
“Colt,” Becky starts, her voice hesitant. “Since you started seeing Sassy, you’ve really gone off the rails. You’ve never stepped a foot wrong in your life before this. Now, you’re failing out of uni, getting into bar fights, getting fired and then there’s the strip club incident. Even your mates admitted they’ve been worried about you these past few months.”
I clench my jaw at this tired old conversation.
“Your point?” I say evenly.
“My point,” she sighs. “Is that maybe moving on is the best thing for you? Maybe her deciding she’s bored and ready for her next victim is a silver lining. Your life was fine before you met her, and now it’s a disaster. Colt,” Becky puts a warm hand over mine and looks imploringly at me. “I love you and I want you to be happy. But I don’t think Sassy is bringing you happiness.”
My heart constricts in my chest at her words. How can I possibly explain to my sister that although my life looks like a disaster, I’ve never been so happy before? That I’ve never felt so alive? Sassy has become as important to me as the air that I breathe. And now that I’ve had her, I don’t want to remember life before her. I’ve messed up a lot since I met Sass, but what Becky doesn’t realise is that I’d mess up even more just to have her back. I’d sacrifice anything. A life without Sassy Bennett is no life for me.
But as I look at the pain in my sister’s eyes, I know I can’t have that conversation with her. We’re each other’s only family. Sure, she has Mason now, but I know what I mean to her and how worried she gets. If Sassy was still mine, I’d tell Becky she needs to accept her. But what’s the point of that conversation when Sassy has decided it’s over? If, like Becky said, she’s grown bored with me and moved on to the next exciting thing in her life, why bother trying to explain to Becky what she means to me? I should just man up and move on. I was nothing more than a bit of fun for Sassy. Perhaps it’s time to get my studies back on track and then leave this place. I take another swig of beer and pat Becky’s hand to reassure her.
“You’re right,” I smile and hope it reaches my eyes. “I’m better off moving on. I’ll be fine Beck, you can stop worrying about me.”
Chapter35
Sassy
Iangrily kick a stone off the footpath as I walk up the street. I’m heading towards Brittany’s house for a surprise pop in. Seeing her dad the other night has me rattled. I was so drunk that the whole conversation with him is a blur, but I’ve been feeling edgy and anxious about seeing her ever since.
It doesn’t help that I’ve also been in a foul mood ever since I started ghosting Colt. After my disaster of a night trying to numb myself with alcohol, I woke up with a pounding headache and a lot of messages from him. He was pleading to see me so we can talk things over. But I know I can’t be in the same space as him right now or I’ll go running back to him. Instead, I told him to stop contacting me.
Hurting him makes me feel lousy. But every time I want to fold, I think of Colt’s limp body in the alleyway. I think of him laid up in a hospital bed. And I think of Becky’s anguished face.
