AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I tried. I tried so hard, and still, I lost him. My baby. I tried.” She wrapped her arms around her legs as she repeated the words over and over.
Wait? What?
“Ariella?” I crouched beside her, but she didn’t even seem to notice. “What are you talking about? You tried what?”
She was too lost in her pain to answer. I’d done it. I’d broken her.
Only I didn’t feel the enjoyment I thought I would.
19
Adam
My chest constricted as I stared at Ariella on the floor. For the last five minutes, the only sounds she made were sobs as she rocked back and forth. Black streaks covered her face as more tears poured from her eyes. Her hair was falling free from where I’d pulled it. Light bruises were forming on her neck and face from my hands.
She was a mess. There was no way she could go back out there. Not like this. Not when she wouldn’t even respond when I said her name.
I crouched beside her again, reaching out. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. But she didn’t even move. It was as if I wasn’t there. Or maybe she wasn’t here. Lost in the nightmares of our past.
“Let’s get you out of here.” I pried her hands from her knees and wrapped them around my neck instead. I slid my arms under her legs and behind her back.
Her head fell to my chest as she allowed me to lift her up. There was no fight or resistance as I carried her from the closet. I headed straight for the side exit so no one would see us. I’d already instructed one of the limos to wait there. It was just good sense to plan for a quick getaway.
She still didn’t make a sound as I got into the backseat. I whispered instructions to the driver. I wasn’t sure why; it’s not like she noticed. But I didn’t want to disturb her.
She pressed further into me, taking comfort in my strength and warmth. She felt so right in my arms. Like she belonged there. My guts twisted painfully because I shouldn’t be thinking that. I was the reason she was like this. Disassociated from the world. Falling apart.
Moonlight sliced across her face as we drove through the city. It lit her up like it always did. Making her hair and skin glow as I pulled her closer.
Using my thumb, I brushed some of the makeup off her face. “Nightling?”
Her spine stiffened as her honey-colored eyes found mine. I watched the misery flicked behind them. Watched as she looked at me with disgust. It was as if she was only now realizing who held her.
My lungs seized as she crawled off my lap. She moved to the opposite window, putting as much space between us as possible. My body itched to yank her back to me. To have her molded to my side. Instead, I let her turn away. She stared at the city with a crestfallen look.
And for the first time since I came back, I cared.
Something had crumbled inside me when I saw her on the floor crying. I’d been thrown back to that young kid who was desperately in love with her. The one who would’ve given her everything. Who thought she was everything. The moon and the stars.
I exhaled sharply as I watched her. I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t keep destroying her. I might be the devil, but even I didn’t have it in me to decimate the person I’d loved. But I obviously couldn’t stay away.
Maybe if I heard her say it. I could let her go. If she looked me in the eyes and said she didn’t want me. That she’d never wanted me or the baby.
Maybe then I could stop living in the past. Stop being plagued by memories of what I thought we had. By the nightmares of a future I’d wanted. Maybe I could finally pull myself out of the darkness.
20
Ariella
My body felt heavy, weighed down like I was trying to move through water. My head wasn’t any better. It was like I couldn’t think. I was on auto-pilot, breathing because my body knew how. Not because I told it to or even wanted it to.
I didn’t want anything right now. Except to be alone. Maybe a drink so I could numb the pain I knew was coming back. It always did. It never went away. No matter how much I tried, it always found a way in.
Sometimes, it was a harmless question like, why didn’t I have kids. Other times, it was a date on the calendar. Or a stupid diaper commercial. But it was always there, the miscarriage lingering in the corners of my mind. A loss I couldn’t put into words.
This time, it had been Adam who brought it up. Shoved it in my face that I’d failed at my one job. I was supposed to keep our child safe. Let him grow warm and comfortable inside me.
But instead, I’d killed him. Just like Adam said. I’d let our baby die.
