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Ipaced around Emma’s studio, practically wearing a hole in the carpet. I would’ve preferred to be downstairs waiting for Zara, but this plan hinged on me not being seen. If whatever guard that dropped her off saw me this whole thing was over.
My father might suspect I was with Adam, but he had no proof. The last thing I needed was for him to find out exactly where I was and break the door down. Someone could get hurt if he tried to drag me back.
“Ari, it’s okay.” I smiled at Emma’s nickname. “She’s come over before. There’s no reason why your father would be suspicious.”
“Thank you for agreeing to this.” I glanced at her rapidly growing stomach. “I’m sure you have other stuff to do.”
She waved her hand in the air, brushing away my concern. “Matteo would just make me practice swaddling a baby again.”
I laughed at the image. I still couldn’t get over how involved he was. I wondered if that’s what Adam would’ve been like if we’d had the chance.
The ache in my chest was a dull pang as I thought it. Nothing like the stabbing pain I felt before. Having the truth had helped the wound scab over.
“How much longer?”
Emma rubbed her stomach, a soft smile on her face. “Four months. Still feels like forever. And I can’t imagine getting any bigger. My feet are already killing me. And my back, Jesus. It’s like—.”
She slapped her hand over her mouth. Her eyes widened as she looked at me. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t be complaining when… I mean… I just don’t want to be insensitive.”
“It’s okay.” Instead of feeling sad, it was comforting that she cared. There was no one around to care when I had my miscarriage. Everyone was happy I’d lost the baby because it was Adam’s or because I’d been too young. And they acted like I should’ve been happy about it, too.
“You don’t have to pretend there aren’t things to complain about because of me. Pregnancy is hard. You should be able to feel however you want, regardless of what I’ve gone through. This is your experience. Enjoy it or hate it, or somewhere in between. Either way, I’m here for you.”
She grabbed my hand, squeezing my fingers and stilling my steps. “You know I hated it at first. I hated Matteo for marrying me. I hated being here. But it might be the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“We get what we need, not what we want,” I said as I squeezed her hand back.
Emotions clogged my throat as I thought about my words. When you’ve experienced pain like I had, the only way to get through was to believe there was a reason. A purpose for the loss.
Maybe I needed the pain to understand how important things were. To know I never wanted to lose a minute of happiness again. Would I have been able to let Adam back in so quickly if I hadn’t realized how fleeting happiness could be?
Emma nodded a soft look in her eyes. “I think you’re right. I didn’t have much family or friends before. But with all of you, it’s been easy.”
“Even Mila?” I joked because I couldn’t take the emotions in the room. I didn’t want my sister to see me in tears.
“Honestly, she’s my favorite.” Emma laughed, dropping my hand. “That girl would kill for you. Literally.”
That I knew. We might have grown up in the same world, but she’d been trained like the men. Where Zara and I had been taught to sit pretty. I was happy she hadn’t lost anything because of what she’d been forced to do.
“Sorellona.”Zara gasped as she walked into the room. Adam followed right behind her. “I’ve been so worried.”
“Not as much as I worried about you,Piccino.”I wrapped my arms around her. Happy to see that she looked the same as when I’d left. There were no bruises or signs that my father had turned his anger to her. She was still too valuable to him.
“What happened after you left? Where have you been? Did you know Britney disappeared?Papàis livid.” I blinked as she rapid-fired the questions, barely giving me time to think.
“I’ll tell you everything later.” I needed to work quickly. I didn’t want our father to discover us here together. He thought she was helping Emma organize her baby shower. He wasn’t looking forward to that, but he would play his part.
“I know Britney’s gone. That’s why you’re here. I need your help.” I chewed on my lower lip. “I have to talk to her; it’s important. Is there any way you could track her with your computer?”
Her brows scrunched together, but she didn’t question what I needed Britney for. She’d been taught to never ask questions. Never step outside the box my father had stuck her in. She was supposed to be pretty and submissive.
“Hmm….” She paced the room, touching her fingers to her thumb in a steady rhythm as she thought out loud. “She’s probably tossed her phone by now. That would be the smart thing to do. I could see if her name was on any plane tickets out of the city. But Britney has never been anywhere. I doubt she’d leave. She’d want to stay where it’s familiar.”
I was amazed watching her work it out. She could be so much more if my father let her. If she hadn’t been born into this life.
“Got it.” She snapped her fingers together. “I could run a program to have traffic cameras in the city scan for her face.”
“You can do that?” I couldn’t keep the surprise from my voice as she pulled her laptop out and set it on Emma’s desk. She immediately got to work. I could barely keep up with the latest social media, so I had no idea what she was doing, but it looked impressive.
