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Now I needed to regain my strength before I could return for the physical training.
My dad had sent women my way like I needed his help to get a woman. I took most of them out and returned them to their homes with kisses on their cheeks. Some think I am now impotent, but I don’t care.
I sleep with a few ladies in hopes of quenching Jade out of my system. After her cousin, Yomi happily tells me she’s in New York with her boyfriend. I push and push and finally get her uncle to give me her location, he does after making me promise not to tell his wife.
When I show up at the door, I am met with a frown from her cousin, who refuses to give me any information other than the fact she’s with her boyfriend. I leave upset with plans to purge her from my being. I do everything, date lots of women, and nothing quenches the flickering light of Jade. I still want Jade. Doesn’t help that a few women are repulsed at the site of my scars. Eventually, I conclude I’m not giving her up, she’s the only one that matters.
I want her, boyfriend or not.
So, for the last two plus years, I’ve watched from afar. As she went on dates, reminding myself she will eventually be mine. I send her gifts on her birthdays and holidays, and called her multiple times, but she won’t take my calls or return my texts. It all ends next Friday because it’s Jade’s twentieth birthday, she will no longer be a teenager, it’s time I claim my woman.
JADE
“MsBankole.”Ihearmy name and only one person addresses me like that. Rilwan. Naseer’s right-hand man. I pause for a second then turn to see him standing behind me.
“Guys please excuse me. I’ll meet up later” I say as I pack my bag. They just nod. I turned to Rilwan, and we moved away from earshot.
“Is he here?” I ask as my heart pounds my ribcage. I’m a little doubtful but Rilwan would only be here if he’s close by. It’s their law of nature, you can’t see one without the other.
“Yes, waiting in the car.” I nod and walk next to him. I’m not sure what to expect. I’m happy he’s here and surprised he’s here, on my birthday no less. He’d always encouraged me to celebrate it. The air is cool today for Chicago's bipolar weather it could change soon but I feel beads of sweat sipping into my body, each light yet heavy step I take next to Rilwan who never shows his hand fills my feet with equal part trepidation and anticipation. My mind is spiraling at why Naseer is here probably passing through and wanting me to know of his engagement or maybe he’s here to give me one final kiss and Hasta-la-vista.
I left town without telling him and I haven’t replied to any of his text or phone calls as I promised Aunty Lara. Guess, I can’t escape him, he still came for me. I just need to find out why he’s here and everything will be okay.
If I’m being honest, I’m delighted that he’s here and didn’t forget that I exist in the world. I’ve missed him. Tito advised me to not respond to his call or text if I wanted to move on from him. It’s been difficult, to say the least. I’ve just focused on books and nothing more. The few times I tried to go on dates because Maureen encouraged it. I unequivocally won the award for worst first date. I did kiss a few boys, but they were all terrible.
Whenever I’m alone. He’s all I think about. Doesn’t help that I google him, and I see him with different women. It always reminds me that I’m not the chosen one, it hasn’t stopped me from reminiscing about our time together and how I fell in love with him. I had stars in my eyes every day and wanted to be next to him always, didn’t matter if we argued or laughed or he acted grumpy, which is his default. It was always us in our own bubble in that room. The world was nonexistence, until his dad told me he was using me, and his future wife was already selected. All they are waiting on is Naseer to set a date.
“You are setting yourself up for heartbreak and you’re too young and pretty for that. Leave and find a nice young man who will give you everything you want. My son is only lying to you” Mr Darabi had said to me. All I did was nod and try not to cry in his presence. Of course, it was right after Naseer had kissed me and said, “You are very special to me, never forget that.” My seventeen-year-old self was floating in clouds. With his father’s words came the downpour of rain from my clouds and no rainbow.
With my thoughts in solitude, each dreadful and delightful step I take is with curiosity and a healthy dose of craving for Naseer. I know in my heart that walking away from him would crush me. One would think that should be a smart reason to avoid him but who’s ever smart when the heart is involved plus there’s no book manual on how to walk away from someone you crave like air and not be sad or how to pretend you don’t feel so deeply for them when all you want is live wrapped in their arms and laugh with them daily.
“Have him and get him out of your system that way you never have to wonder” my subconscious interjects.
“Yes, I will, and when he leaves me. I won’t have to ever wonder, and Aunty Lara would never know. I broke my promise to her or took a bite of the forbidden man.
Rilwan opens the door for me to get in. I let out a weighted sigh, my heart pounds as I got in. I’ve been waiting for this moment, now he’s here and I’m nervous. He’s sitting calmly in cargo pants and a green shirt. “Hello Jade, my lady,” he says to me, with a subtle smile like he’s trying not to smile. I can’t believe I haven’t seen him in three years. I itch to touch him.
“Hello, Prince Naseer.” He looks too good for me to even think about walking away. His hair is shorter, and that cracked nose gives his boyish grin a sexy look that I doubt I’ll ever be able to walk away from. He looks more fit and his square chiseled face is enhanced. Those gray eyes would always be my downfall.
“Happy birthday, Jade. I’ve been counting down to your birthday.” He grins, I thought this was the year he would forget. I didn’t tell my course mate today is my birthday. My aunty and friends had called to wish me happy birthday and Maureen my roommate had bought a cake. Tito had mailed this chiffon and silk blouse to me, and I’d put it on right away. Before putting on the tights with a miniskirt and the blouse Tito had gifted.
Two days ago, I’d taken down my twisted braids and gone to the beauty shop to get my hair washed and put a twist in. In anticipation, I wanted to feel pretty on my twentieth birthday and happy despite the fact. I didn’t feel happy because the one person I wanted the most to wish me happy birthday had not called or texted me in the last four monthsyes, I’m counting. Can’t blame him, after all, I gave him the silent treatment.
Last year, I’d received a card, box of chocolate, and the latest iPhone from him along with a message that said the phone service was covered. It had all arrived the day before my birthday. I’d initially wanted to return the phone, but Tito said I should enjoy it even if I didn’t speak with him.
I’d done as Tito suggested, used the phone and ignored his calls and text messages. I secretly hoped he would come and see me, but he never did. After dressing up and taking my twist out, I applied make-up. I’d sent Tito the final look, and she’d responded with “Love it. Enjoy your birthday” Of course, I didn’t tell her my birthday was going to be spent in a group discussion with a bunch of coding fanatics.
Yes, they had all shared a surprised look when they saw me. All dressed up and made up, but no one had said anything to me. We got right down to business and that was until Rilwan showed up.
“Thank you, I’m surprised you remembered.” Though he has always had a gift for me since my 17thbirthday. A part of me keeps thinking the following year is the year he would forget.
“I told you I won’t forget,” he says smiling. His eyes on me are intense, he’s watching my every move. Sitting this close to him makes it hard not to want to touch him. I lace my hands to keep it from acting.
“Correct, you didn’t forget, and thank you for coming to wish me happy birthday,” I say shyly. I can’t look him in the eye. It pulls me in, and I lack the power to push back. We’ve talked for years. I’m not sure how to feel or respond to the intensity in the back seat. He’s not easing up on that intense gaze.
“I have your present at my hotel, and I’ve ordered dinner. Would you like to come with me?” I should be screamingnoand getting out of the car. I have my hand on the door handle, but I can’t open it because I can’t walk away from him again.
“Sure,” I say as Naseer smiles and turns back to the driver. “Take us to the hotel.” We can both feel the intense sexual silence cocooning between us. It would be senseless to try and deny it.
