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I wake up the next day and continue the rinse and repeat. I miss Naseer but no one cares. I know he won’t take my disappearance lightly and Aunty Lara won’t budge either. My part is to keep the promise I made to Aunty Lara. When I agreed I didn’t realize just how much my heart would break daily to make her happy. Now I’m slowly shattering, there is nothing to put me together than the one person I can’t speak with or see.
A week into my stay, Yomi announced that we had a barbeque party to attend, not like I had anyone to talk to besides Tito who was far away. I went with him to the barbeque party. Everyone was welcoming to me. I met a lot of people. I met Bosun, a good-looking guy. He’s tall well chiseled, very friendly, and currently going to Rice University, he sounded bummed out that I didn’t pick Rice.
He tried to convince me to change. I refused. He soon started stopping by to visit me daily.
We would talk and laugh; we went to movies together and he snuck me into a nightclub. It was fun playing on the wild side a little. I told Tito about Bosun, and she encouraged me to keep seeing him.
After all the best way to get over a man is to get under another. she’d said. I didn’t want to get under any guy, even as she encouraged me to have sex with Bosun that it wasn’t a big deal, and I just might enjoy it so much with Bosun that I won’t think of Naseer ever again.
I struggled with that a bit because I’d always envision myself with Naseer. Bosun wasn’t giving me a chance to guess his intentions, he laid it out right away. We kissed a few times, and I didn’t feel a thing. It was just a kiss, nothing exciting. Tito said I was probably analyzing it because of Naseer. I was determined to not move further with Bosun. I decided to google Naseer, something I’d convinced myself not to do.
There he was back in the limelight with different beautiful women on his arm. Every picture had him with a woman at different events and gatherings or outings. Details of his debauchery were right in front of me. I closed my laptop and called Bosun.
Time to get under Bosun and purge every thought of Naseer from my brain.
Bosun invited me for a trip to New York, and my cousin encouraged me to go with him, we visited some of his friends and I couldn’t move past a few kisses with him despite how relaxed we were together and how much fun we had.
I returned to Texas excitedly, which made Yomi smile that I was finally getting to my cheerful self again. I was shocked when he asked me “Who is Naseer?” he’d asked, a few minutes after welcoming me back from New York.
“My friend in Rhanaz,” I’d said. He just nodded and didn’t say more.
Guess Aunty Lara is filling him in.
I Google Naseer again and, like before, details of beautiful women in his arms are all over the internet.
I finally saw one with him and Princess Nadra. They were kissing, the picture had been taken in the last twenty-four hours. Reality kicked in for me, they are back together. That picture hits like a sledgehammer to my rational brain. Throwing caution and rational away. I went straight to Bosun like he’s the solution to my shattered heart.
I lost my virginity that night at Bosun’s house. I returned home unhappy and cried myself to sleep. I didn’t feel better having sex with Bosun. I talked to Tito, and she tried to convince me that it was all nervousness, I should give it a try again.
Stupidly I went to Bosun again and again and again eventually realizing that sex with Bosun was never going to crush my feelings for Naseer, if anything it made me feel worse. Upon this realization, I broke up with Bosun. I would rather be alone than keep forcing a feeling. I couldn’t even look Bosun in the eye during sex, for fear I might say the wrong thing. So, I keep my eyes closed and mouth shut in a dark room so he can’t see my face or see my naked body.
I don’t have to keep having sex with him to know that something was off about my behavior.
My aunty is so excited when they drop me off at school. My roommate is Maureen, a petite yet feisty brunette from Kentucky. She grew up with conservative parents and had to fight for them to allow her to come to Chicago. She tells me that she’s going to be wild for the next four years and if I have a problem with it, I should speak up now. I just shook my head. I like her.
I didn’t care about her wild side, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that Maureen is living it up now because once she’s done. A conservative husband was waiting for her, and she didn’t want to miss out on life.
Maureen and I got along fine, even as she changed boyfriends like she was changing a blouse weekly.
Every week, we tried a new restaurant in Chicago. I introduced her to Afro beats, and she introduced me to salsa dance. Tito visited and we did a road trip once. It was truly single-girls full-on fun.
NASEER
Ihadpromisedmygrandfather that I would complete the Prince Academy training. It’s a debt I owe. The training has four parts. Physical, Pleasure, Mental, and Emotional each training has two parts. Each part takes three months, a total of twenty- four months to complete. It feels like a forced rite of passage that I must complete to be a prince. Whether I like it or not. I must be ace every aspect prince or not.
You pick the order in which you want the training, but you have to complete them all. As a younger man, pleasuring a woman was the first part I signed up for. It involved knowing the act of seducing a woman, from the looks to the foreplay and mastery of sex. Raheem and I did the physical part A and immediately signed up for pleasure part A. It was well worth the training, and I was a very good student in class. Chloe’s business was selected to teach all the princes the act of pleasuring a woman.
My accident happened and I couldn’t go back to continue any of the training, I met Jade, and no way was I going to be with another woman, but I couldn’t un-ring the bell of what I’d signed up for.
I tried to have them cancel part b of pleasure training, but I was told that’s not possible. We were given time to pick. Once selected, you can’t change it. I would be cheating on Jade something I found that I couldn’t do. Though we weren’t dating yet.
I returned to the training for the Mental portions A and B. To train my mind and adjust to stressful situations especially when there was a lot of chaos happening at once. Physical and emotional control go hand in hand.
You learn not to show emotion, especially anger even when you are beyond pissed. You learn to read the room and remain calm even when the house is burning down. You stay neutral in every situation regardless of what emotions you feel. Something, my grandfather stated, that I needed more than others.
I had met Jade and kissed her several times before she left for college. I haven’t had sex with heryet, but I wanted just her and no one else. Jade is the woman I craved. I’ll have to do the physical training all over again later.
I didn’t want to do part B of the pleasure, but I had to, Chloe’s business had sent someone over. I complained a lot and skipped classes then they suggested I wear a mask and the lady wears a mask. Somehow, I got through it by wearing a mask. I didn’t feel good afterward, but it was done.
