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“I guess both.”Or neither.
“The island is beautiful. The people are very loving and family oriented. They have such high walls built around them, but so would I if I’d experienced anything like they have. I can see that deep down all they want is to move on from the past and have a better future. There are some people whose mental and emotional wounds are too deep and even with help, I’m not sure they will ever truly be happy. But there are some things that you can’t fix. Like what the parents of that young girl are going through. Even if we find the man who killed her, it won’t bring her back. That void will be with them forever.”
“And that leads to the job. It is intense. I know you worked for the FBI before, and I’m sure you have seen plenty of things, here, you see it every day in their eyes. Are you able to cope with that? I don’t want it to…be too much.” I ran my hand through my hair. “What I mean is you have such a beautiful soul and I know you would want to help and save everyone, but I don’t want it to be at the price of your ability to smile, to be happy, to enjoy life either.”
That was true. Still not why I brought her here, but worth voicing anyway.
“I won’t lie. Yesterday was difficult. I went to my room and cried for the deceased girl. Eighteen was so young, and from what I learned she wanted to be a nurse and help others. That has been taken away. And I cried for her parents who have lost their only child and life will never be the same for them. My heart even ached for the witness who carries a guilt that she shouldn’t.”
If the witness had tried to intervene, we’d have two deceased women instead of one. At least she was alive and able to identify the man who’d done it.
“Exactly. I am worried that one of these times all you will have will be tears, and I won’t be able to bring your lovely smile back,” I said, reaching out and touching her right cheek.
She closed her eyes and leaned into my hand. My thumb stroked her cheekbone tenderly. Then, all of a sudden, her eyes opened wide, and she pulled away as though it caused her pain.
Kinsley stood up and paced, holding her hand to her cheek.
I went to her and asked softly, “Did I hurt you?” She shook her head but didn’t look at me. “Please, come sit down. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Draven, it’s…it’s not something I like to talk about,” she stammered.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. But I’m here for you anytime you need to talk. Just know, Kinsley, I’d never do anything to hurt you. Never,” I repeated.
She nodded. “I know that.” She went to sit back down, and I followed her. “I know there is something else you want to ask me. Just say it, Draven,” she demanded.
This is what I was afraid of. The spark in her eyes wasn’t there, and this time it was because of me. But I didn’t want to lie to her. And if I tried to, she’d know and then she won’t feel as though she can trust me.
No matter what I choose, it hurts her. The one thing I never wanted to do.
“Please,” she prodded.
I met her gaze and tenderly I said, “I…I’ve learned that you were shot in the line of duty.”
She lowered her eyes, and just said, “I figured you would find out eventually. Who told you?”
“Does it matter?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I guess not.”
I so badly wanted to reach out and pull her into my arms. Tell her how much she means to me. But after her last reaction, touching was out of the question.
“I was hoping you could tell me a little bit about it,” I prodded.
She cleared her throat and said, “It’s not something I like to talk about. But if you really want to know, I guess you have the right to. I don’t want you worried that it would affect my performance.”
“Kinsley, I am not asking as your boss. If you really don’t want to tell me, I’ll respect that,” I replied.It’ll drive me crazy, but I won’t pursue it any further.
She looked up at me and her eyes watered. “Thank you. But I can tell you what I’m allowed to say. There are some things which must remain confidential,” she said. “I’m sure you understand.”
I wasn’t looking for the report, just wanted to know about her injuries. “I don’t need those details. I just care about you very much,” I stated honestly.More than I ever imagined I was capable of.
“Oh. Okay. Well, I was on duty and a suspect took me hostage. The swat team was called in and he was killed. But before he died, he shot me. It took about a year to fully recover, but I’m good now. The doctor released me to full duty.”
“It must have been horrible for you.” I’ve been shot at, but never shot. There was a major difference.
“It was. But I had a lot of support to help me get through it,” she replied.
“And no lingering issues? I mean I have friends who were in the military and got shot. They have flashbacks and nightmares,” I stated.
