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Kinsley turned away for a moment, her eyes closed. “There are times that it is difficult.”
“And I’m not helping by asking about it, am I?” I asked.
She shrugged. “It’s not the fact that you ask. It’s just that…that I want to forget, but I can’t.”
“Of course not. It was a very traumatic experience,” I reminded her.
“Yes. And…and the scars I have won’t let me forget either,” she said softly.
I knew she wasn’t just speaking about the mental scars. She had physical ones as well. I hadn’t noticed any, and I’d seen her in booty shorts and a revealing tank top.
“You don’t have to hide anything from me,” I said.
Kinsley turned to face me again. “I’ve never…I’ve never shown anyone before.”
My heart was pounding. I wanted to make this all better for her, and I knew I couldn’t. But somehow, I knew she wanted to show me. That she needed to.
“Sweetheart, take your time.”
Kinsley nodded and turned away from me. Then she grabbed her long hair and twisted it so it was in a ponytail at the nape of her neck. I could see her hands trembling as she did so. Then very slowly she began to turn around to face me again.
When she did, the first thing I noticed was the tears that were rolling over her cheeks. I didn’t want to make her cry.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry,” I said, my heart breaking for her.
Kinsley lifted her hand to the right side of her head and said, “It’s so…ugly. I hate the way I look too.”
Only then did I even notice what she was speaking about. All I had seen was the pain in her eyes. I hadn’t even noticed the scars on the side of her head. I couldn’t hold back any longer.
I went to her and pulled her into my arms. “Sweetheart, that is not what I meant. I meant that I’m sorry I made you cry. But you arenotugly. Not one inch of you. You are beautiful inside and out.” I kissed the top of her head as she sobbed against me.
“Don’t…lie. It’s…my…my ear is gone. I…I have scars that will…that will never go away,” she cried.
“I know you do. And I wish I could change that, but I can’t.” I stepped back slightly and cupped her face in my hands and had her look up into my eyes. “Sweetheart, when I look at you, I don’t see any scars. All I see is the woman I can’t stop thinking about. One who has me falling in love with her.”
Never in my life did I expect those words to come out of my mouth. Then again, I’d never met anyone like Kinsley before. It wasn’t like I was thinking of wedding bells and children.I just can’t picture my life without her in it.
This was crazy. It was happening way too fast, and by the look in her eyes, she knew that too. I probably should not have told her, but it was too late. She knew now. And even if she didn’t feel the same way, it won’t change how I feel.
“Draven, I…we…” she tried saying.
“You don’t have to say anything. Just know that to me, scars and all, you’re beautiful.”
With the tears still rolling down her cheeks, she replied, “Thank you. Thank you for…saying that.”
She heard my words, but I wasn’t sure she believed them.
I wrapped my arms around her, letting her cry on my chest. As I held her gently, so much made sense to me now. How she always had me sit on her left side. And her reaction to me when we fell in the pool. She didn’t want me to see her ear. But I was glad she showed me. I wasn’t sure how this was going to affect our relationship, but hopefully, it was good for her healing process.
Relationship? Do we even have one? What are we? I’m her boss, but are we just friends?Kinsley never responded to my telling her that I was falling for her. It was too much. I knew that.Hell, if she thinks those words were a surprise to her, I was just as shocked they came out of my mouth. I knew that she enjoyed my company. We had fun. There was a lot of laughter when we were together, but not so much right now. But that didn’t mean my feelings were reciprocated.
Maybe she never even heard me say it. Maybe that’s a good thing.
Kinsley stepped out of my embrace and raised her hand to untwist her hair and let it drop over her shoulders again.
I went and got her some Kleenex to wipe her tears.
“I’m sorry that I got so…emotional.”
