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I put my seatbelt on and when I look up Rhys is jogging down the last of the steps and heading towards the car with large, determined strides, his jaw set and his eyes lasered on me through the car window.
“Drive,” I order.
Bellamy slams the accelerator as we peel out of our parking spot and into the long path of the driveway.
I watch him run after the car and then come to a slow, reluctant jog as we gain distance from him. He stops and watches us drive away until he’s nothing to me but a speck in the distance.
It feels weirdly metaphorical and sad and it’s only then that I burst into painful, heart wrenching sobs that rack through my entire body and have me folded in the fetal position in my seat the entire way home.
Bellamy tries desperately to hug and comfort me as best she can while driving, hiding her panic at seeing me fall apart so completely.
???
36
Rhys
The second the words are out, I regret them.
I spoke them in panicked anger as I realized I was losing control of the situation.
That I was potentially losing her.
I’d wanted to back her into a corner with an ultimatum, forcing her to forgive me in the process, but she’d called my bluff.
I swept the entire row of decorative vases off the kitchen floor in response and then ran after her.
That one emotional outburst ended up costing me dearly as I’d watched her drive away instead of catching up to her in time.
I don’t immediately go after her, reluctantly advised by Rogue and Phoenix to let her cool down overnight and talk to her tomorrow.
So I go straight to my room and to bed, hoping it’ll bring tomorrow more quickly.
???
I don’t sleep a single minute.
Every time I close my eyes I’m tormented by clips of our relationship, every time I open them I see her in my room as if she were really there.
My bed is cold and empty, devoid of Thayer’s warmth and laughter. Without her next to me for me to wrap myself around, I'm lost.
I’m not sure how I used to sleep before her; where my arms usually went or how I liked to arrange my legs.
I don’t make it to sunrise.
I reach boiling point at around three am when I toss back the covers and jump out of bed. I throw on some clothes, grab my keys, and leave my room.
The party is still raging on towards the back of the mansion so I’m able to walk downstairs without running into anyone who’d distract me or try to get me to celebrate with them.
I open the front and walk outside, only to find Phoenix sitting on the top step, smoking a joint.
He turns when he hears the door and quirks an unsurprised eyebrow when he recognizes me.
“I thought you were going to wait until tomorrow.” He says, facing forward and pulling from the joint between his lips.
“It is tomorrow,” I say, sitting down next to him. I grab the joint and take a deep hit, hoping it’ll mellow me out.
“You know what I mean.”
