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For the second time tonight, she makes me stop in my tracks. Long seconds tick by and I remain the only person standing still in a crowd that loses its mind as I stare at her.
I just stare at her.
Words were invented to describe her kind of beautiful.
She turns to smile at Thayer, a student from another one of my classes, and I’ve never seen her smile like that. Adrenaline shines in her eyes, exhilaration colors her cheeks, and disbelief and pure joy stretch her smile. She looks stunning and I don’t know how anyone can choose to look at the fighters when she’s right there. When they could be looking ather.
She’s radiant and I want her for myself.
I clock all the people around her, all the students I teach that could look over and recognize me. I’m one false move away from blowing this whole thing up just because I can’t control my dick.
I’m torn between knowing that I can’t have her and being too far gone to give a shit. As she settles down from the celebrations, clapping her hands happily, her cheeks still rosy from excitement, I decide that even if I can’t have her, I can’t stand the thought of anyone else having her either.
As the crowd begins to calm, I walk the rest of the way until I stand behind her. Thayer is still jumping wildly, palms hitting the mat of the ring as she cheers, so she doesn’t see me.
I stay there for a couple of seconds, distracted by how well we fit, how easily I could wrap my whole body around her.
I close the distance between us so her back is pressed to my front and curl my arm lazily around her hip, draping my hand possessively over her bare stomach.
She stiffens.
“Go homealonetonight,” I order, pressing my growled command into her hair.
I feel her instantly relax against me, nearly destroying my resolve to leave in the process.
But I can’t stay.
I rip myself off her with difficulty and disappear into the crowd.
???
My temples pound with a thumping headache the next day, courtesy of my having hit the bourbon bottle before going to sleep.
Coming home to a shitty one bedroom, in a country I don’t belong in, with a name that isn’t mine and without the girl that is, only emphasized just how colorless my life has become.
So, this morning, my head is absolutely hanging and I’m in no mood to be fucked with. I’ve already written up two students and yelled at a third but it’s when I see Nera walk up to Phoenix that I feel a violent yank on the reins of my temper.
I don’t want her anywhere near him.
It snaps completely when she shoves him into an open classroom, follows him in, and then closes the door shut behind her.
I rake my hand through my hair and take a calming, albeit shaky, exhale.
After last night, I don’t want to think about why she needs to talk to him so urgently and privately.
If she ignored me, if she took him home…
I find that I can’t finish that thought.
She’d warned me though.
“I won’t wait for you forever.”
I grind my teeth so hard, pain shoots in my jaw from the pressure. I can’t go in there. Not unless I want to throw this whole year away.
No one has to know.
The selfish part of me urges me to take what I want like I always do, fuck the consequences.
