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Then there was my ambivalence every time I thought about the sale of my shop falling though. I should be stressed out. Scrambling to make things right or find a back-up buyer or simply calling my agent to see if she’d heard anything.
When Maddox emerged, I was sitting at the table picking at my food as if it had any more answers than I did.
“Just so you know, as hot as that was, it doesn’t change what happened yesterday.” He stopped next to the table and held my gaze.
Direct. To the point. I shouldn’t have expected anything less from him. “No, it doesn’t,” I said.
“I’d do it again, though.” Maddox moved past me, grabbed a plate, and piled it full of food. “Not when everything is up in the air like this, but I’d totally do it again.”
I should make sure he meant the same it I thought he did. “Mutual masturbation?”
“Yes, but no. I think I’d rather we were both hands-on…” Maddox furrowed his brow. “With each other I mean.”
After the fantasies I’d entertained this morning? “Me too.” That wasn’t at the front of my mind, though. “Where do we stand, non-masturbation-wise?” Had anything changed since we talked last night? Was he leaving when he was done eating?
Maddox sat across from me. “Reluctant acceptance? I hate that you’re going. Still. I understand why. Still.”
“That’s fair.”
He shoveled food into his mouth, while I ate at a more sedate pace.
“I’m going to bring Alys her computer and some of her stuff this morning,” Maddox said, after a swallow of coffee. “She’s planning on staying with Aubrey.”
I shouldn’t be surprised, but that didn’t mean I could stop the news from hurting. “I’ll come with you.”
“No.” His refusal was sharper than was typical for him. “I’m not taking sides in this, or getting between you in any way. She knows where to find you when she’s ready.”
I couldn’t wait for Alys to come to me. The fact that she wasn’t speaking to me already hurt too much. That I’d betrayed her trust… “In that case, I’ll follow you, and you can say you told me not to.”
Maddox rolled his eyes.
“I’m only asking you to tell her I’m downstairs when you get there. You don’t have to ask her on my behalf to talk to me, just say I’m there. If she comes down she can see me, and if one of you tells me to fuck off…”
“You will?” Maddox looked skeptical.
Probably not. It was good to have Maddox back, even if we weren’t quite friendly, and I needed Alys in my life too. “I’m going with you or I’m following you. One or the other.”
The scowl that splashed Maddox’s face was a look typically reserved for running into his father. But he let me drive us to Main Street, and he didn’t say anything when I waited outside of Aubrey’s back door while he went up to her apartment to see Alys.
How long should I wait until I followed Maddox up to Aubrey’s?
Not that Aubrey or Maddox would let me in if Alys told them no.
I needed to see her. The ache growing in my chest, the longer I thought about not talking to her… How did I think this situation was going to turn out?
Right—badly. Which was why I’d put off telling her for so long. That thought led me to the one I’d asked myself over and over again yesterday. How was I going to move that far away and not see her? Not see Maddox?
Because I was supposed to be able to talk to them after I—
“What do you want, Onyx?” Alys’s question came from behind.
I turned to see her standing in Aubrey’s doorway, watching me with a drawn expression. Shadows hung under her eyes.
I was shitty for doing that to her. “I’m sorry.” The words tumbled out easily.
She crossed her arms and leaned into the frame, away from me. “For which part?”
Not for the decision to sell here and buy in Arizona. That was the right thing to do. “That I kept the secret. I’m sorry I lied. You deserve better than that.”
