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Hayes nodded. “That’s a good idea. We’ve come a long way, but we haven’t reached the end of the business yet. And now that Delphine has discovered she can purge others, we’ll need to make a plan for that as well.”
“A plan?” I asked, still a little dazed from the unexpected turn of the conversation.
Clay nodded enthusiastically. “We’d hoped to be able to help with the task, but I’m afraid you’ll have to do it on your own.”
“I’m going to need to purge everyone before we leave,” I said slowly, the answer obvious. If I had the ability to free people’s minds, I couldn’t walk away and leave anyone still trapped by lies.
“It will help that we’ve just surveyed everyone in the town,” Hayes said. “It just means we’ll have to start again and cover every single person all over again.”
“And you’ll be doing it alone.” Luna linked her arm with mine, giving it a sympathetic squeeze.
“It’s a good thing we have all winter,” I said, trying to speak with a cheerful note.
It was an overwhelming task, but only days ago it was something we thought impossible. Despite the disappointment of my failed training attempts, it was still good news overall.
Luna glanced at Nik who hadn’t made any move to return inside. Slipping her arm out of mine, she took hold of both Hayes and Clay’s elbows and propelled them into the house with her.
“Come on!” she said cheerfully. “We can’t keep Amara waiting.”
Hayes had time to throw a single raised eyebrow in my direction, making me flush, before the three of them had disappeared into the manor.
Nik still stood motionless, his eyes on me.
“Every healing you have to do is putting you at greater long-term risk. And I let that youth hit you.” I knew his anger and recrimination was directed inward, but it hurt me just the same.
“That wasn’t your fault!” I said heatedly. “You weren’t even supposed to be there at all.”
It turned out the boy had planned the attack, getting one of his friends to lure Costas away at the crucial moment. I should have been totally alone, and yet Nik had been there to protect me as usual.
What I didn’t know was why he’d been there. And why had he swapped shifts if he was worried enough about me to come into town to check on me during his rest time?
“No,” Nik said softly. “I was supposed to be there. I should have been there from the beginning. And if I had been, that boy would never have touched you.”
“You’ve been avoiding me.” It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t deny it. “You’re still affected by what happened…that day.”
He swallowed visibly but didn’t speak.
“Are you angry with me?” I asked hesitantly. “For creating the problem in the first place and then blaming you before I even gave you a chance to explain? I know it was terrible of me to assume the worst like that, and I don’t expect you to just forgive me. I’ve been trying to give you space, but I’ve been sorry every day since.”
“What?” He strode over and took my hands, moving as if he couldn’t hold himself back. “Of course I’m not angry with you! How could you think I would blame you for that? You didn’t ask to be attacked, and you must have been in a state of shock afterward. I know what that scene must have looked like.”
A spark zipped through me from the place our skin touched, but I couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “Then why? Why have you been avoiding me?”
He swallowed, letting my hands drop. But he didn’t step away.
“I’d seen you injured before, but not like that.” He looked away, the muscle in the side of his jaw jumping. “You can’t imagine…” He shuddered, his voice dropping low. “I can’t look at you without seeing you lying there, covered in blood. So still. Too still. Even now I can taste the panic and rage and fear of that moment.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, although the words were inadequate for the moment. I knew just what he meant because I had also struggled to escape the traumatic images of that night. A silent tear slipped down my cheek.
He reached up and brushed it away with his thumb, his hand cupping my face.
“But that wouldn’t be enough to keep me away from you,” he whispered in a rough voice. “Not on its own. If it was just that…”
“Then what?” I asked, my words hardly more than a breath. “What else have I done?”
“Nothing!” His response came quickly. “You’ve done nothing. It’s what I’ve done.”
He fell silent, and I knew we were both seeing the scene from that night.
