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Later that night
Billie…
Mom calmed me down and she held me while I cried. That only led me to getting sick again. I ate a little chicken broth and a cracker or two. I found out that a lemon-lime drink settled my stomach a little better. I get up and go to my room and shower quickly. I feel a little better. While I’m brushing my hair, I come up with an idea. I get my phone and I send both Rager and Reaper a text to meet me at the auxiliary in Gladewater for breakfast in two days. I know Mom will go with me. I’m not sure there’s going to be a wedding, but if there is, I want to be prepared. I am not backing down on this.
I have my doctor appointment tomorrow and I don’t even know if Raider will show for the appointment. We’ll see. Mom says that Doctor Franks will do an examination and we may get to see our baby if he does a scan. I’m excited. I just hope I don’t get sick everywhere when he examines me.
24
Billie…
I wake up early, and rush to the bathroom. I never heard anything else from Raider last night. I missed him dearly. I just wanted to lie in his arms but he needed something else. I won’t beg anyone to want to be with me. I know I can’t live this kind of life. I won’t let our child grow up and think this is acceptable for a lifestyle.
My heart hurts for Raider. I know this is him trying to adjust to the circumstances in life. I love this man with all my heart, but this is what my mom would say is growing pains between us.
I get up and shower for the day. Instead of drying my hair, I brush it out and throw it up in a messy bun. That’s as good as it gets for today. I put on a maxi summer dress and slide my feet into some slides. I’m only concerned with comfort today and not my appearance. I spray myself with a light scent of body spray and then put on some body lotion. I brush my teeth carefully so it doesn’t make me gag. I skip all makeup. I do put some sunscreen on. I’m out of my bedroom door. I’m fine until I hit the bottom stair and smell the bacon. I go right back to my room, sit on the side of my bed, and count until the urge to vomit leaves me. I text my mom and ask her to text me when the kitchen is cleared of the smell or she’s ready to go.
Today is Mom’s one day off. I told her I would go and meet Rager and Reaper alone tomorrow and then search for wedding stuff, but she was hearing none of it. She wants to meet the men who are causing her lovebirds to fight. She can’t help herself for wanting to help me with wedding preparations.
Mom was not happy when I told her my idea of a perfect wedding. Like Raider and I thought, she wants a big fancy wedding. I said no. She got on board with it, but she’s complaining whenever she thinks I’m paying attention. I want what I want.
Reaper and Rager both agreed to breakfast at the auxiliary. I can’t wait to see them and share my news.
If worse comes to worse, then my family will have one heck of an end-of-summer party. I’m still holding out hope for Raider to come around or at least be open to a compromise. I know I said I wouldn’t compromise, but I was just pissed. I know I’m asking a lot of Raider. I just hope he knows I’ll compromise. If he shows up today and will speak to me, I’ll let him know. Gator checked on me this morning, but I haven’t heard anything from Raider.
My phone brings me out of my thoughts. It’s a text from Mom telling me she’s ready. I grab my clutch. I go down the back stairs and go out the back door to meet Mom at her SUV. Mom clicks her fob and the doors unlock. I get in and the vehicle is musty from sitting. Mom starts the vehicle and the air soon takes care of the musty smell.
“We’re going to need to hire more farm workers. I know we need one more foreman. I took care of a lot of the things in the office and the fields. Our foreman needs a raise and we need to hire either one or two trained men to work with him. I also took care of a lot of the fieldwork so that’s where the others will come in. At least until this morning sickness goes away. Please tell me it goes away soon. I don’t know how other women handle it. Not only am I hugging the toilet most of the day, but I am so tired.” Mom laughs at me.
“No one ever said pregnancies were easy. The nausea usually goes away after the first trimester, right around the three-month mark. All women are different though. Some have it up to the time they deliver and others don’t have it at all. You were hit hard and fast. We need to watch your fluid intake and be sure you can keep something down or at least try. I bought some fruit and some bland foods. Try one at a time to see what works even if it sounds crazy. You need food that will stay down. I’m almost positive that when the doctor finds out how bad your nausea is that he’ll give you something for it temporarily. By tomorrow morning, you may be able to eat a little at a time. Small snacks and meals are your friend right now.” Mom tries to sound methodical, no emotion in here voice. “Did you hear from Raider yet?” I can’t look at my mom.
“No, Gator texted to check on me this morning.” I try to smile. The tears want to fall but I won’t let them.
“Men are jackasses on their good days. Give him time to adjust but don’t take any shit from him. We can raise this child on our own with no problem,” Mom assures me.
“I know, Mom. I just hope he’s there today.” I send a text to Raider and then slip my phone back into my purse. Still nothing from him. I’m just being a foolish woman. I lift my chin. I know I can do this with my family’s help.
It doesn’t take us long to get to the doctor’s office and Raider is nowhere to be seen. My stomach is feeling queasy again. I tell Mom about my stomach and she says she’ll get my papers for me.
I go to the restroom and try to get sick but there is nothing left in me. I flush the toilet, wash my hands and then wash my mouth with a handful of water from the tap. I tear some paper towels out of the dispenser. I wet them and wipe my face and my neck. I throw them and go out to the office.
I walk to the office part and I see Raider and Mom sitting beside each other. I sit beside Raider and my mom hands me a clipboard full of papers. It’s the usual insurance papers you fill out in a doctor’s office. The first time Raider nudges me is when I fill out my name.
“That’s going to change. Your last name will be Miller before this baby is born,” Raider tells me. I know he’s trying to whisper to me but it’s much louder than a whisper. He smells like alcohol. I notice that Raider is wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday and his eyes are bloodshot. Mm-hm. I ignore him and go on. When I come to the father’s part, I hand the clipboard to Raider. He fills in his part and hands it back to me. I see the question if they can share my information with anyone. I put Mom’s name in. “My name goes next and I want my mom’s name on there as well,” Raider says. I write Honey’s name down and then I get up and take the clipboard to the receptionist.
“Hello, I’m Janie. I know your mom. Everything is going smoothly today and we are right on time. They should be calling you back soon,” Janie tells me. This girl is only three years older than me and I see her sliding her eyes over to Raider. It’s not anything that I’m not used to when we go to various places. I am so over it. I don’t respond to anything she’s said to me and I go and sit back down. Raider picks my hand up and puts it in his. I don’t know if I want to cry or throw up. I could use a short nap.
“Ms. Nesbit.” The nurse comes out of one of the doors and calls my name. I get up and Raider and Mom follow. The nurse comes to a scale and stops. “Would you please step up and remain still?” I do as she asks. She writes the number down. I haven’t gained or lost any weight. Then she has me back up to the scale and this bar things comes up. She measures how tall I am. None of us say anything. We walk up the hallway and she bends down next to a cabinet and hands me a cup with a lid on it. I go into the restroom and do my thing. I clean the outside of the cup after I put the lid on it. I wash my hands and carry the cup outside. The nurse has me put it on the counter. “We’re almost done for right now. Please take a seat in that chair.” I do as I’m asked. “I’m going to take your blood pressure first.” I nod my head and lay out my arm. She puts the cup on and lets the machine do its thing. Then she swipes the thermometer over my forehead. The nurse is moving around, taking out small tubes and a syringe. “Temperature is in the normal range. Your blood pressure is low. You’ll need to talk to the doctor about that. A little low can be normal early in the pregnancy but your blood pressure is below that range. Now the uncomfortable part. I need two tubes of blood. It’s just a little pinch.” I look at my mom and she shakes her head yes. I look at Raider and he looks pale. Suck it up, mister. This is happening to me. The least he can do is hold my hand through it, but he isn’t even doing that since we left the waiting room. I sit in the chair and my mom steps up and holds my other hand to calm my nerves. The nurse takes my blood and she’s right. It didn’t even hurt. I get up and the nurse leads us to another room that is more private. My mom held my hand all the way down the hall and Raider followed us. The nurse pulls clean paper down on the exam table. “You can sit up here. Do you need a hand to get up?” she asks me. Raider finally steps forward and takes my arm to brace me so I don’t slide. He doesn’t leave my side. “When was your last period?” I give her the date. “Was it a regular period or a light period?”
“It was a regular period. I know about when I got pregnant. I was a virgin before then and not sexually active.” The nurse looks from me to Raider and then to my mom.
“Just write it down, Hailey. My daughter knows the dates.” My mom hadn’t been talking to this nurse so I didn’t think she knew her. I get it now. My mom doesn’t like her. I give the nurse the dates and she writes them down.
“I’ll get the urine test done within a few minutes. That will tell us how to proceed. The doctor will be in soon.” My mom puts her hand on her hip.
“Hailey, I gave Billie two of the same tests that you gave her just now and they both came back positive. Get the doctor in here or I’ll go and find him myself. Don’t treat my daughter this way because we hate each other or I will file a complaint. I already explained everything to Cliff on the phone. He assured me that our issue would not be a problem today.” The woman turns beet red with anger.
