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“Thank you and I think compromise sounds absolutely right for us.” I kiss Raider this time. Mom comes back in the door. Raider moves back the curtain. I step out and I walk to the exam table and get back on it. Mom comes over in front of me, pushes my gown up, and then puts the blanket around me. There’s a knock at the door and a middle-aged woman walks in, pushing a machine.
“I’m the tech who is going to help Dr. Billings.” She notices my mom. “Is this your daughter, Frannie?” My mom gives her a warm smile.
“How did you get duty at Cliff’s office?” my mom asks the woman.
“Draw of the straws and I lost. No one likes coming over here anymore. The hospital sent me and I need the hours anyway. You’re going to be a grandma at last. We’re on our fourth and each one is a blessing.” The woman is carrying on a conversation with Mom while Raider and I just keep looking at each other.
“Midge, this is my daughter, Billie, and her man Raider.” Midge looks at us.
“They’re just babies. Aren’t you Honey’s son?” Midge asks Raider.
“Yes, ma’am,” Raider answers her.
“Good looking and he has manners. Can you cook?” Midge asks.
“A little,” Raider answers, being modest.
“He’s a keeper, little lady. Any man that even tries to cook is a star in my book.” I’m finally at ease in this office.
“We love him,” Mom speaks up, and Raider smiles big at that.
“Yes, we do,” I speak up.
“I’m going to give you the rundown on what’s going to happen because Dr. Billings is clinical when he talks to you about things. This screen here is where you’ll see the baby when we find it, and if the heartbeat is strong enough already, you will hear the baby’s heartbeat from these speakers. All first-time moms, dads, and grandmas get emotional when they first hear that heartbeat. It’s normal. Don’t try to control it. Let them tears roll.” She takes a breath and takes this wand-like thing down. “This will be covered with a condom and it will have lube on it. It will go in your vagina. Don’t be scared. It’s uncomfortable at the most, so just try to relax. Deep breaths in and out. You may have some blood in your panties later from it or you may have mild cramps. It’s normal. A warm shower and a heating pad will help with that. Shower and no bath. It will take a few minutes for me or the doctor to get the measurements that we need. One other suggestion is to get a written script if the doctor gives you any prescriptions. Sometimes it can take a while for this office to call in their prescriptions.” Midge winks at my mom. Secret codes, I’m guessing. The doctor walks in and Midge steps back.
“Have you tried to do the scan without doing it vaginally?” the doctor asks Midge.
“I was just getting to that.” The doctor trades places with Midge.
“This is going on your lower abdomen. It’s a gel. I’ve warmed it, but it still may be cool to you.” Midge rubs some of the gel on me and then she starts running the other instrument over my lower belly. “Bingo. There’s your tiny bean.” I can’t make out much, but the longer she rubs the thing on me, the plainer it gets. She turns the volume up and I hear my baby’s heartbeat for the first time. Midge is right. There isn’t a dry eye in the room except for the doctor. Midge even has tears in her eyes but she continues her job. Raider squeezes my hand and he has tears running down his face just like I do. The doctor is doing some things on the machine that I don’t understand. “Your bladder is nice and full so it’s easier to see. I’ll run off some pictures for you in just a minute.” Our first pictures of the baby.
“Billie, I love you. Will you please honor me by becoming my wife? I wanted the proposal to be a big deal since you want a simple wedding but I folded under the pressure. Please, Billie.” The doctor and Midge are both shocked but my eyes are on Raider. “We’ll compromise and make our wedding day work, but please put me out of my misery.” Raider still has tears running down his cheeks.
“If we can compromise and address my stipulation then yes, I will marry you.” I see my mom taking pictures of us and even the doctor smiles. Raider slips a solitaire diamond onto my finger. It’s a big rock. We finish the appointment and leave with prescriptions and pictures of our precious child. I am in love with that child already. I would do anything to protect he or she. My heart just keeps getting bigger with love.
25
THE NEXT DAY
Raider…
Yesterday, hearing my child’s heartbeat, was like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. I pick up my phone and dial the one person I need to share this blessing with. It only rings once.
“I’ll be by later today, Mom. I got a lot going on. We need to talk, though,” I tell her.
“Oh, yes, we do, young man. We will be having a discussion,” my mom tells me in her strictest mom voice.
“What?” I ask her.
“You know what. You will never speak to me that way again. I don’t care how pissed off you are at me. I am your mother. You were raised better than that,” Mom tells me.
“Mom, I don’t have time for this shit right now,” I tell her.
“There is no excuse. We will discuss this later when you’re here. I’m done for now.” I don’t like the tone she’s taking with me. She’s talking to me like I’m still a ten-year-old. She hangs up on me.
* * *
TWO HOURS LATER…
