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If looks could kill, I’d be dead in an instant. Savannah looks down at me like dirt. “I don’t need your permission to leave the house,” she responds calmly.
I stand so we’re almost eye-to-eye. “When you havemydaughter, yes, you do.”
It was a low blow, and I know it. Savannah has been more of a parent than I have in the three months Elise has been alive.
“Legally, she’smydaughter too! I know how to protect her, and I will. If I want to run to another country with her, I can.“ She tries to walk away, but I grab her arm.
I stare her down. “Are you planning to run away with my daughter?”
She shakes me off her. “No.”
“Savannah!” I shout when she tries to walk away again.
She spins on her heels. With an exasperated gasp, she says, “Every time I think we’re in a good place, you fuck it up.” She holds her hand up to stop me from interrupting her. “My whole life, I’ve been trying to fill a void, but nothing was enough... until her. She’s the thing I wasn’t looking for but found anyway. I was coming home to tell you I don’t want to lose this.”
I can almost taste the victory of winning the game, but her speech isn’t complete.
“But,” she continues, “This isn’t a life I want to live - one where my home feels like a prison or my sole duty is to serve the king.”
“Savannah…”
She shakes her head. “I’ve made so many sacrifices for you. I’ve lostso much.“ Her voice cracks. “How much longer until you sacrifice something? I’ll take anything at this point – even a measly pawn.”
If only she knew how much I have done for her - how many pieces I’ve knocked off the board.
“I’ve lost too,” I argue.
“My body. My home. My privacy. My independence. My job. Elliot. Emery. Hux. And now you want whatever remains of my freedom.” She gives me one last look before walking away.
I remain rooted to the spot as the win slips away from me. Emery was easy – she didn’t ask questions and followed my orders well. Savannah fights me every step of the way. She gives me a glimmer of hope before snatching it.
Her disobedience almost pushes me to tell her to leave, but after all I’ve done, I can’t give up now.
My steps are slow up the stairs. I lean against the doorway as Savannah stares at a sleeping Elise. Her sniffles are quiet, but her tears give away her cries.
I make another sacrifice by offering an apology she doesn’t deserve.She’s in the wrong.
“I’m sorry. My worry came out as anger.”
She brushes away evidence of her cries. “I’ve been stuck in this house for three months, Xavier. All I wanted was a day out to think andbreathe. You work all hours of the day while I’m stuck staring at the same walls. It’s no wonder Emery went crazy.”
Ignoring her flippant comment about Emery, I crouch in front of her. “You need totalkto me. I can’t read your mind. I thought you were happy at home.”
Her words fail to come out as she watches Elise. Her internal battle plays out in her eyes. “Am I a bad person if I miss my life before?”
Before Elise or before me?
“What do you miss?”
“Having something for myself. I’ve been working since I was sixteen, and now, I’m a stay-at-home mum. I feel like I’ve lost myself. Does that make me selfish?”
Taking her face in my hand, I brush the pad of my thumb across her cheek. “It makes you human.”
Returning to work is something I can handle. If anything, it would bring me a sense of peace. There would be no more disappearing, and I’d have her close to me.
“Do you want to return to work?”
She looks at me in surprise. “What about the baby?”
